1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN

confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,

breathing didn't do a thing

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and

fold them neatly in the

baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard

only the ones with the

darkest stains

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up

the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your

firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you

can go home and wash

and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with

some juice from the

baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need

it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain

about the smell or you

see it sagging to their knees.

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby

Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call

home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a

number where you can be

reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees

blood.

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older

child isn't squeezing,

poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the

hospital and demand x-

rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for

the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his

allowance.

GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live!*