>> > Guys' Rules

>> >

>> > At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > Finally, the guys' side of the story.

>> >

>> >

>> > We always hear "the rules" From the female side.

>> >

>> > Now here are the rules from the male side.

>> > These are our rules!

>> > Please note... these are all numbered "1"

>> > ON PURPOSE!

>> > 1. Men are NOT mind readers.

>> >

>> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

>> > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

>> > We need it up, you need it down.

>> > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

>> >

>> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

>> > or the changing of the tides.

>> > Let it be.

>> >

>> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

>> > And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > 1. Crying is blackmail.

>> >

>> > 1. Ask for what you want.

>> > Let us be clear on this one:

>> > Subtle hints do not work!

>> > Strong hints do not work!

>> > Obvious hints do not work!

>> > Just say it!

>> >

>> > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

>> > question.

>> >

>> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what

>> > we do.

>> >

>> >

>> > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

>> >

>> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

>> >

>> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

>> > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

>> >

>> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us

>> > to act like soap opera guys.

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

>> >

>> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes

>> > you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

>> >

>> > 1. You can either ask us to do something

>> > Or tell us how you want it done.

>> > Not both.

>> > If you already know best how to do it, just do it yours self.

>> >

>> > 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during

>> > commercials.

>> >

>> > 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

>> >

>> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like

>> > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

>> > We have no idea what mauve is.

>> >

>> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

>> > We do that.

>> >

>> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like

>> > nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

>> > hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

>> >

>> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you

>> > don't want to hear.

>> >

>> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is

>> > fine...Really.

>> >

>> > 1. Don't ask us what we are thinking, unless you are prepared to discuss

>> > hockey, the shotgun formation, or fishing.

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> > 1. You have enough clothes.

>> >

>> > 1. You have too many shoes.

>> >

>> > 1 I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

>> >

>> > 1. Thank you for reading this.

>> > Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

>> > But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.