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Very Very Sad

Posted by meredith_e 7B Piedmont NC (My Page) on
Fri, Oct 12, 07 at 11:24

Hey Y'all. It's nothing earth-shattering and everyone is OK thank God, so it doesn't matter in the end.

But I am enormously depressed over Oxford. Everything sounded great, I was on the forum for the new year... and POOF. A rude e-mail from the glorified secretary that hadn't they explained numerous times that I can't continue until I makeup the afternoon I missed?

I'm locked out of the forum and they are still waiting to hear WHEN I CAN MAKE THAT UP. As in, this year's class has started and I'm supposed to wait to hear when I can fly over and get something graded that takes eons... you see the problem :(

I've gone balls out militant and wrote the disabilities contact at Oxford and the UK equivalent of the EOC. F'in promise that they love disabled folks and then have no fair provisions when somebody misses ONE AFTERNOON? Dear Lord! What would disabled entail in their pretty little world, I wonder?

Meanwhile I keep hearing my old boss say that 2 hours a week was way too much work missed, even for PT, if it has to keep up. I had the second best performance stats of the group. Fired, babe. I really loved that job.

And did I happen to ever mention that IT HURTS A LOT TOO? Like an f'in root canal to the neck and that gets a bit old by itself, you know?

OK, pity party over. It's not going to kill me, I have my health, I can still have fun, etc...

But I'm very very sad at why people make it so hard :( And that it's so hard, really, overall :(

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Very Very Sad

Oh, forgot to say that what I am going through is the same as if I had missed something without cause. My point is that that's not fair for disabilities, emergency situations, etc for one afternoon's time.

And the presiding b*ch wrote me to say that I should have informed them that I was disabled... they didn't know, blah balh. Deja vue, I tell you.

I wrote her bacjk and told her where to find many many mentions of it in our correspondence.

I also included an option under the official regulations where they can consider my body of work instead. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if she were just unaware of this possibility [not up to speed on all the regs].

As Oxford is cuckoo about regs and it's there in plain black and white, save a prayer for me that they use that one!!

RE: Very Very Sad

Oooh Meredith, so sorry! Why so many regulations upon regulations? I bet they dropped the ball and are searching for ways to cover their behinds.

Hopefully someone will see reason and help you out!

Sending up a prayer for you...


RE: Very Very Sad

There's no paper pusher like a lower level paper pusher. Read not, think not.
Now you have time to make their lives a lxxxxng hxxx.

And there are lots of folks in England and the EU who didn't go to Oxbridge who are on your side; you just haven't found them yet.
Many of these unfound friends will have family and friends with less than

RE: Very Very Sad

Meredith, how long would it take you to get over there? Can you get to the right people and fix it? Even Oxford has a board of directors. Do they not also have a consulate or an American that can help you as an advocate? Would it be impossible to transfer credits?

You are clever, and capable of a legal mind. You will get around that woman.


RE: Very Very Sad

Thank you so much for the prayer, Betty. Honestly, that usually is the best thing :) Regulations are built up over time I guess... and they have had hundreds of years to form quite the bureaucracy!

Ann, thank you so much for your response! What's the rest of it? I'm doing my best to find out who handles what and who would care about the regs I found, etc., but they aren't very transparent in all that and I'm supposed to go with the paper pusher :( Who, BTW wrote me to not CC any academic folks on this matter since it is now out of their hands. Not coincidentally, the academic folks are the ones who know me and support me moving on!

Thank you, Sammy :)
I'm trying to pin down who does what :( They really threw me a curve ball because I have an e-mail from my tutor that all was well and no problems! I'm currently putting together a formal argument to the Chairman of The Board of Studies noting everything good that I've found. Separately, I'm giving the disability dude a little longer to get back up with me. It may be gold that my PaperPusherLady put in writing that I had not disclosed a disability - of course she's wrong and I can prove it, but that's great evidence that they certainly didn't consider accomodating anything!

I'll keep y'all posted, and I do so appreciate prayers and ideas, please :)

RE: Very Very Sad

Meredith I am so very sad to here this. Surely there is something you can do, or somebody can do for you. Any student council, ombudsman or whatever. You have an issue to put forward and you need to be heard....and after all you have been through, why can't you, or why won't they let you make up that half day. I do not understand. Surely that cannot be it!! you have worked so hard. Fight Girl, FIGHT!
I am still rooting for you.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Pauline - Vancouver Island.

RE: Very Very Sad

Pauline, oooh thank you for the puppities!!


The, PROCTORS themselves have chosen to investigate my situation after I dropped their office a line about who to complain to.

Um, I'm floored with awe at that actually. I have to have a good case for them to take it, as far as I can ascertain.

RE: Very Very Sad

  • Posted by mjsee Zone 7b, NC (My Page) on
    Tue, Oct 16, 07 at 20:49

meredith--can you company fire you if you are injured? What about the ADA? I think I'd be talking to a lawyer...if you aren't already. Glad to hear things may be looking up with Oxford.

In the meantime:

PS--I don't think it's EVER going to rain again...

RE: Very Very Sad

Meredith - hope things have worked out by now... keeping my fingers crossed. Sounds like lower-level lady read to a certain point, crossed her eyeballs and made her decidsion. I wonder what the disability regs are like in England. We know HERE you would be able to fight and have a huge body of law behind you - but is there any sort of disability board in Merry Olde??? Best of luck, honey head!!

RE: Very Very Sad

Mel, that's the bestest cuddle session ever :) THANK YOU :) Pagan, HIYA :) Thank you and so good to see you here :)

I'm swooning with the formalities of the situation at the moment. Can't say any more about the official investigation due to regulations about those things...

But the disability dudes with the school got back with me and there is much proof to be given... hoops, etc. with big scary court-type stuff looming at the end of that route perhaps, so I told them I'm pursuing just the academic-regulation route at the moment.

Regs covering acute illness/emergencies should do me well in any case as Plan A. Then I found Plan B and C regs, all before the disability card, actually.

So hopefully I'm good to go :) 28 excruciating possible days of waiting to go, but that fits to me missing just one project if they don't accept it 'off the books', so to speak. We are allowed to drop one assignment a year, so hopefully that's all going to be just fine.

A little ironically, my Irishman lets me know important forum happenings and let me know that a pal of mine wants my help in class, so I'm still very much involved with the work, whether anyone likes that or not!! Hmpfff!

Thanks y'all :)

RE: Very Very Sad

Everything was turned down this round [the original round, really, so no surprise there] :(

But the reasons were very shaky and not documented at all, compared to mine that reference the statutes by letter, etc :)

As for whether one afternoon of massive pain/weakness could sound out of the ordinary for someone with a nerve disease, here's a phrase that stuck in my craw: "symptoms as severe as you appeared to experience this year"

Eh, at least now they are acknowledging that I disclosed it... it's just shocking to them how it might cause an actual problem ever, right? Even one afternoon! B@stards ;)

Seriously, I have an immense dislike of people who don't even ATTEMPT to understand the first thing about a problem as life-consuming as this, and I'm just sick of having to be understanding about it time and time again!!! OK, vent over...

wait... b@stards!! OK, I'm good to go now ;)

:) :)

RE: Very Very Sad

England does recognize disabilities. Several years ago a friend was musing about taking her octogenian Mother to England, because such a visit had always been a fondest wish. But her Mother couldn't walk very well. I contacted some friends and came up with three different travel agencies in GB which specialized in tours for those with physical disabilities. That many! And they weren't that hard to find.
Good luck,

RE: Very Very Sad

Thank you so much, Ann :)

On a very related note to yours, I have now been contacted by a very nice lady at the UK equivalent of the EOC. They do take their disability laws seriously!! And they have specific ones that relate to education and universities. They appear to give more rights than the US laws :)

I'm still at the "BigGuns" stage right now with the University process, and appealing the decision as well... with disability dudes from O looking on, and the UK agency in the wings waiting for my word!!

I'm also asking permission for an appeal on one more angle that is listed, too, lol. Never tell me that I'm not thorough! ;)

Meanwhile, in case I were to lose, I have begun to ponder the possibility that I scrap this year, study the Java with my Irishman and e-mail pals, take the make-up material next August as the paper-pushers would like [and see my Pals on that trip]... THEN APPLY TO THE ADVANCED DEGREE at that point.

Thousands of dollars cheaper and I'd be back with my class again for the advanced year [which you can apply separately for, obviously]. A sneaky-ish plan but that would serve them right - All they'd have gotten out of this roadblock is a loss of my tuition this year and a ton of appeals work ;) Hmpff again!

Oh, they'll have to work hard to thwart me over something so ridiculous... no doubt there...

RE: Very Very Sad

  • Posted by roselvr Burlington Coun (My Page) on
    Sat, Oct 20, 07 at 8:29

Mere, was there a post that explained what you were doing with Oxford that I missed? I've seen you mention it but I don't think I ever saw the main post.

RE: Very Very Sad

It was probably a while ago, Sue... I finished this year after having to intermit already one whole year [which, had I been more familiar with the program, I'd have known was ridiculous, too was this same lady who had me intermit instead of using a project I was 'sick' during as one that we are allowed to drop each year.]

It's programming/computing. Java mostly but covering much more than that and a wonderful way to study, IMHO. We look at the entire field, have to know about debates or controversies, have to know many technical details that I've never had to study before when taking programming courses.

The "3rd year" is an advanced year that is less about programming but all my pals are taking it and 3 years looks better than 2 on a resume ;) There is no on-campus part that year, but I believe there is another graduation at the Sheldonian afterwards.

I REALLY enjoy these folks and instead will be back to faceless, impersonal peers for my 2nd year if they don't allow me back in plus not being with my group for the advanced part either :( Not to mention twidling my thumbs for a year for no good reason, the dollar decreasing against the pound each day too it seems :(

If it weren't so against their written codes and ridiculous that everyone academic supports me up through the directors I may not be so angry about it. Then again the audacity of not notifying folks at all is just inexcusable on its own.

I better hush... there are way too many tedious points where this office's head is up its....

Gotta go ;)

Keep those fingers crossed! On paper, I've won this thing already but God am I worried :(

RE: Very Very Sad

Meredith - fingers and toes duely crossed. I hope it will right itself eventually...

Although it has been year's since I was in grad school, I still dream those school dreams - finding out I have a test in a class I didn't know I was taking, having to drop classes, etc.etc.etc. Funny how some things stick with us, isn't it?

RE: Very Very Sad

LOL, I still get waiting tables dreams :)

Thank you.

No information that I requested for my appeal [that I have 10 days to do] in my inbox today... just a ghost town, and pals on the phone "Oh, on the forum...this and that" and I'm losing it a bit today :( :(

Insurance-wise I'm supposed to schedule that damned 'lumpectomy' surgery, too but I can't make plans at all.

It's driving me insane... I can usually feel better telling someone/thing entirely unreasonable to f off but I want this too badly...

Control issues meltdown ;) Just thought I'd share :) ;]

RE: Very Very Sad

  • Posted by roselvr Burlington Coun (My Page) on
    Tue, Oct 30, 07 at 8:58

How are you making out Mere? Did you hear anything yet?

RE: Very Very Sad

Hey Sue :) ANd these pics make me smile every time I open this!

No news yet but I found proof that this person did not notify the proper folks about my disability, among other things. Excellent, EXCELLENT news since the "proper folks" are the folks deciding this thing, as well as the ones who wrote the relevant regulations.

I'm crossing my fingers that the folks will feel like I would if I wrote a bunch of regulations and underlings took it upon themselves to just go their own way instead ;) ;)

PLEASE tell me this school still has a bit of rank-snobbery like here in the US ;) Hey, honestly clerks are not judges-and-juries for a reason and that always bugs me anywhere, actually.

RE: Very Very Sad

Another story:
Oxbridge: a composite of Oxford and Cambridge, though one has to be able to punt for the one with the bridge over the Cam, but not so much for Oxford.
I went to a meeting at Cambridge a couple of decades ago and with many of the oil company geologists ended up with assigned lodging at Jesus ("The boys at Jesus are really wild"). Very modern and breakfast included one egg per person. When I asked that my egg go to Joe, who liked two eggs, my request was refused, as the rule was one egg per person.
First assembly, the ranking US professor was in a horrible mood as he was in this dingy, tiny room with his wife. He was so totally un-awed by the knowledge that he'd been assigned to that particular lodging because it was the room that someone of earthshaking importance had had when he was a student and was beginning to be known. Because the most important visitor merited the most important room, whether he wanted it or not.
Rules ARE rules.
(And I no longer remember the name of the person of earth shaking importance, although it did impress me at the time.)

RE: Very Very Sad

Great story, Ann - thank you :)

I hope they stay true to form!!

Here's a familiar sight for you... maybe the room you're thinking of, ha!:

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