phylrae and sunnishine,

I don't have any specific advice, my neighbor sprays different things, and it comes through the a baffleboard-type fence (big vertical openings in it you can see a little bit through). He's really, nice but I noticed my pussywillow tree's leaves are curled up, not all of them, but some new growth, Jap beetles are eating them, too, I drown what I can. The huge violet I let grow at the base is dying. I know some people consider wood violets weeds, and I don't mind eradicating them from other parts of the yard, but I had these huge violets lining the path that narrowly separates our houses, killed them all. I'm just sad about it. I would gather them in the spring for boquets and photos, all 3 kinds, purple, speckled and white, big ones. The foliage looked pretty when nothing else will grow there but weeds, mentioned it twice now, said if I sprayed on my side, I would cover the fence with plastic which would be a lot of trouble, and it's his fence so I don't dare stick a tack in it, maybe I do. Now he has all new new planting on his side of the fence, so I don't know how to handle that either, mentioned it to him twice, and he responded yes, he knew the spray might come through the fence. I'm watering his porch baskets for 3 weeks while he's been away, he asked me to.

It was the Tyvek suit I was interested in and wondered where your husband got his, see they have them online, but can they be rinsed off between uses and worn again or does he throw them away? Which leads to sunnirose, I don't think most people bother with any protection like that, but the only bottles I've bought say to wash your clothes separately, wear long pants and long sleeves. That is a nuisance, too, I'd rather wear some protection and possibly just a breathing mask.

I don't know how I'd respond to that neighbor, you don't want it to escalate, and people like that it is best to ignore as best as possible; she may have a mood disorder, and there's no reasoning with some like that anyway, and not all people with disorders are nasty.

But what the one poster suggested, I might feel like that, but that might be considered a threat subject to arrest for some kind of assault. I think she meant just to threaten to do it, not actually spray in her direction. I didn't think you would do it.

Once a neighbor maliciously sprayed on my kittens, got it in their eyes, screaming in pain, I rinsed and rinsed their eyes then their fur, then we took them to the vet. They were ok, and with him, they shouldn't have been loose and near/on his property anyway. Once he had me come down in his basement and get my mother cat under the workbench, don't know why she would go in his house. A neighbor told my father, once they go on vacation, that cat's fair game. We boarded her out when we went on vacation, another story, she nearly died from not eating while we were gone 3 weeks.

mgleason, you're my kind of guy!
Phyl, she's not worth it, just like sunnishine said. Must be a miserable person. I don't know about the legal but it IS your yard.
Kate, LOL
Phyl, she sounds like my mother's deceased neighbor. She was a Total $itch.

Carla

I was out spraying the same stuff in shorts and sandals today. But you can explain that the reason you wear the extra protection is because you are exposed to more since you are closer to the sprayer, and you are exposed over a longer period of time as you spray every few weeks. Also explain that they spray is only really toxic if you eat it which is why you are only spraying the roses. If you are really worried about it and think she might do something then send her a letter to tell her exactly what you were spraying and what the warning label says. Otherwise I'd ignore her as it isn't good to encourage confrontation, and it might make her feel better to think that you're out spraying cancer stuff (since it brings you down and makes her feel vindicated for not liking you).

You'll have to find out if using the chemical is illegal. A lot of times when they ban the sale they don't actually ban the use of the chemical so people can use what they have.

Is she using chlorine to keep her pool healthy?
This is when you learn about chlorine fumes and which ones are dangerous. Then you get the chlorine test kits to tell when the fumes from her pool could be damaging your plants and you. If she's using other salts, will she be dumping her water ...where...when her pool water is changed..

Science is NOT her friend.

Science can be your friend, but the water from her pool will not be. Be ready to counterattack.

Phylrae,
Hi ,its Sam from Lake George. How are your roses. Mine are great this year ,Thanks to my great winter protection (Burlap and leaves) and mildness snowiness. I have had BS on only the lower leaves of Intrigue, Which always gets BS. I spot spray the ortho fuginex. (nasty stuff) I hold my breath as I am doing it. That is why I use the safer sulfur fungicide. The best thing is to get the wind and air to keep the leaves dry. Use the Bayer (if you want the risk) only when her car is not in the driveway or at 4:30 am. We all know that it shouldn't be near pets or kids.
Our neighbors shouldn't have to suffer because we have a rose addiction.
When she saw the suit and the mask she got scared. Anybody would have. Fungicide scares me too. The next time she sees that suit it will scare her again. She was expressing that she wants the mysterious chemical away from her. Anybody would feel this way. She fears only for here grandkids and pets. We all do.
Seems like she has a very bad way of expressing her feelings. The reason she did this is because she boiled over because she was mad about the groundwater pool thing.
I am watching the news right now. We have a Bald Eagle w babies on the news tonight. Thats one mom I wouldn't mess with.
What I am worried about is that She can not communicate with her dog effectively. Ask her if she watches the dog whisperer every Friday on national geographic. That would help her with exercise discipline and affection.
Enjoy roses
Samuel
PS
See if you can help them with their pool. So you can use it. Otherwise come visit us in Lake George to go swimming. Make sure the pool has stairs so that her dog can get out easily.

We have a fellow rose grower who has a neighbour who doesn't mind using weed and feed on her lawn,(ugh) but she doesn't like to see anyone spraying "fungicides." Our friend now gets up in the morning at 4am to do his spraying. Not too many of the neighbours are up at that time, so it works well for him.

In our community there is a bylaw outlawing the use of cosmetic pesticides, but there are some such as Safer's that are allowed. So, it's probably best to check to see if the product you're using has been outright banned in your City. If it hasn't, your neighour doesn't have a leg to stand on.

I hardly every post, because I am new to the forum, but I have to respond to this post. I have lived in my house for 15 years and each home around me has sold at least 3 times. I have a young man who lives next to me that moved from his grandparents home into his own at 18 which makes him about 23. His grandparents came every week to do the lawn, but now they are too old to visit long distant anymore. We had no problems from them until his grandparents quit coming and he got married. He is on our door step at least every couple of months to complain about something. It is either our dogs may give his dog diseases, because they are not pure breed or our tree sheds limbs in his yard. Note, he also has large trees that shed limbs into my yard. He politely puts all the limbs from my tree in a nice stack into my yard. Finally, I ask him to not come to my home anymore unless he had something positive to say and worry about his own yard and leave what I do on my property alone. Now I ignore him. My advice is simply ignore the neighbor from now on. They have a problem with you and so trying to be nice will not work. She wants to fight, not be a neighbor. Good luck.
Ann

It's definitely not worth engaging this person. Engaging her will only escalate the situation because, as someone else mentioned, she wants a fight. Tell him to pretend he doesn't hear, go out with earphones next time (is that what they're called?) ear plugs or whatever they're called. Sheesh, why can't I remember the name. Yeah....head phones!

Love all your responses....thank you all. I guess you're right about ignoring her. I just can't understand the mentality behind wanting to pick a fight. Just makes no sense to me.

Aliska, Gary got the Tyvek suit at Rosemania.com a few years ago. He says you can hose it down and hang it up to dry. But I was wrong about the Tyvek suit...Gary just told me he doesn't even use it anymore, because our son Austin used it on a hunting trip a few years ago, as white camouflage (winter hunting), and it got torn up.

Sam, yes, our roses are pretty good...but the JBs came a few weeks earlier than usual, so I'm hand-picking them twice a day.

Thanks again everyone. :0) Phyl

Phyl, you said you'd like to avoid confrontations, so I have a "sweet(-smelling)" suggestion ;) Brew some good, strong Alfalfa tea, mix in plenty of fish emulsion, and treat your roses closest to that witch with an extra portion. If you don't want to over fertilize, you can simply keep the container where you make the tea in really, REALLY close to the fence. She'll enjoy a good whiff of that.

It must be such a bummer living next to people like that. Ignoring them will be your best bet. But having her yell at your husband is plain out wrong!

Good luck with them.

---
Wendy

For some reason I have this image of an old lady in hair curlers and a pink robe yelling at your husband with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. My Sicilian side would have had a confrontation, just because I hate rude people and stupid neighbors.

However, I don't like to spray, simply for the fact that one year, my neighbors sprayed their fence with some detergent and killed my entire collection of koi. Also, most directions on spray containers say not to spray on leaves when the temperature is over 80F, it is windy, and sunny. Try to find a day in Chicago not like that!! That is the main reason I do not spray as much, but sometimes a rose covered in beatles or mildew is enough to make a man cry like a baby.

I am also a scientist, and the majority of those chemicals are toxic, and I don't care what anyone says, we just haven't figured out how toxic some are ...yet. That is why animal testing is so useful PETA people!! (another post). That particular drug (tebuconazole) is an antifungal, and probably used by farmers down the street to combat corn smut and oat fungi infections.

Enough rant, I missed my afternoon coffee and I saw my first Jap. beatle this morning so I am off to a bad start. My advice is your neighbor is probably right in terms of side effects, so I would remind her what a witch she is and then spray early in the morning on days when wind is minimal and find some sort of common ground....Maybe give her a bouquet of chemical-infussed flowers and see if she dies? jk

I don't wear a suit but I do wear the respirator, especially b/c I have asthma. After hearing a story similar to yours from a fellow Rose Society member, I decided to head things off at the pass. I tell my neighbors, when I see them, that they will see me out there every 2 weeks spraying a fungicide and wearing a mask, as I have asthma.

Last week I was out spraying when I saw a neighbor with his 2 kids near me, riding their bikes. I could not blame him for wondering what I was doing. So when I was done, I went over and told him that I have asthma and I explained the 3 levels of chemicals, caution warning and danger and that I was spraying the "caution" level. He seemed not to be listening to the specifics, but I think he was glad I approached him.

If she ever approaches you in a more civil way, which is doubtful, you might want to explain the 3 levels, maybe it makes people feel more comfortable.

I can empathize with you..I have a ***really*** nutty neighbor....the kind that buries food and stocks up on ammo...he used to freak me out, but i learned to deal with him. he started one conversation with "thank you for wasting our natural resources "...i was watering...how do you answer that?? i just asked him when it would be my turn to come to his house and point out all of the things that i thought he was doing wrong..i told him that i was sure that i could make him a list that would keep him busy for a long time ! he has backed off, and i only have to remind him occasionally that he is pushing his luck.
as far as that lady..she has no idea what your husband was spraying....it could have been anything...so just let it go..if you spray again and she comes back, just tell her it's something benign, like fertilizer, and that your husband suits up due to allergies..the less she knows the better, and it will keep the peace. the worst thing to do is get in any kind of confrontation..ignoring each other is much better!! Donna

Well, what EVER you do, don't spray her with chemicals.
Not unless you want to be had up for assault. (And it IS assault, you know.)
I did threaten our neighbor with violence if he killed my roses with his Round-Up.
But my husband was kind enough to deliver the message to him, and he has since abstained.

And I might suggest that, if you're going to spray, you try to do it very, very early in the morning.
If you are early enough, your neighbor will still be sleeping, and you can avoid a confrontation.
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
And bad relations with neighbors are always to be avoided.

Jeri

Do what you determine that you have to do to deal with issues that are confronting you. Spray your spray on your property and tell the witch with a capital B that you purchased the substance legally, & that if she has issues with it she should provide current, scientifically valid info to appropriate state/federal authorities informing them of its dangers.

Inform her that if, in fact, she does have contrary info at her disposal, it is her responsibility to provide that info to appropriate authorities with your safety in mind as well that of herself and her unfortunate progeny (who, thru no fault of their own, share in her miserable pool of genes).

Just keep in mind that your rights are in no way negated by her pathological need to control, OR her brow-beaten husband's need to tow the line.

I would plant a tall, dense, hedge.

I just wear gloves and eye protection, no respirator or suit when I spray. But because I use a back pack sprayer, the neighbors think it's something bad. I usually do it early on Sunday. My one neighbor was watching me, so when I went over and explained it was a fungicide, she gasped and asked if I could spray her crepe myrtles that had mildew. I wasn't sure if it would help, but I said sure and sprayed them.

We used to have a neighbor that constantly harped on our grass. We didn't keep it tidy enough for him. We didn't mow slowly enough and when it got too high, we didn't raise the blade, mow once, then lower the blade and mow again. I deliberately killed all the grass behind our garage because this neighbor complained that the weeds were causing mosquitos. And in the winter, we didn't shovel well enough or soon enough.

Then one April, while I was at graduate school and my husband was home, DH say the neighbor wheeled out of his home on a stretcher.

I felt bad for the family, but I felt a whoosh of liberty at the same time. The lawn Nazi was gone.

You can dream, Phyl...you can dream.

OH, this makes me laugh, thanks Jeri.
"I did threaten our neighbor with violence if he killed my roses with his Round-Up. "

Carla

There's no way she can know that your spray isn't allowed... She is probably just complaining about all sprays in general...

Basically I just agree with them... Oh I know it's horrible... I wish I didn't have to do it...

About the water... too bad so sad... What do houses do when they are being built during the rainy season... her excuse is total BS... A pool company uses a backhoe and it wouldn't matter to them if it was mud or sludge...

I smile and agree... I don't give in an inch... I really don't care if they like me or not...

Sounds like she has a major case of menopause/PMS...

Next time she walks up to the fence line I would just ignore her... can't hear a thing in those tyvek suits... !

I agree with Gail (hoovb). My first impulse would be to explore the possibility of moving to another place. If that's not feasible, staying out of her sight line is the best option. I personally don't believe in spraying toxic chemicals of which we really don't know the long term (possibly disastrous) effects), but that's not the issue here. This lady has problems that are utterly beyond your control and I'm sorry that you're forced to be in her vicinity. I would put a fence and/or shrub barrier to avoid the stress of having to deal with someone so unpleasant. You've tried being nice and that hasn't worked so avoiding her even seeing you when you're outside would probably be your best course of action.

Ingrid

Donna, OMG......NATURAL RESOURCES?

I can't believe these stories.

When I moved here 7 years ago, it was a very dry August. In the first month here I spent every day driving to my old house, digging up and potting my 550 roses and bringing them to my new place. Because I had trees to remove and beds to get ready before I could plant, all the potted roses were placed in a big circle in the middle of my front yard. It was all weeds anyway and it was easier to water, watch, and winter protect them there.
The neighbor objected to them. The wife said they were an eyesore and were lowering their property value. I had asked if I could link to their back fence with mine. They said no and besides the fence was 18 inches over their property line. I just said OK and prceeded to put up my fence leaving the 18 inch space between the two fences. Because it was their property, they had to keep the space clear of weeds. You better believe it when I say, I
complained about the overgrown 18 inches with my own "It's an eyesore and is lowering my property value."
That following spring when I was getting ready to make the rose beds, we had a confrontation about a bed enroaching on their property. I had obtained a survey to make sure I was not on their property but they didn't agree with the surveyor stakes and kept pulling them up. While I was driving a 1" thick steel rebar stake some 8 feet into the ground so they couldn't remove it, she stood there and complained. The more she complained the harder I swung the sledge hammer.
That confrontation resulted in my blood pressure escalating which caused an aneurysm to blow out in my head and a stroke which left me paralyzed on my left side.
I guess they had a quilty conscience seeing me work in my roses from the seat of my Rascal scooter as they soon put their house up for sale and moved.
At one time they had told me, "No one can take care of 500 roses."
They stopped a couple of years ago and complimented me on how beautiful my yard and roses looked.
My reply was, "Thank you. Now please leave, you presence is creating an eyesore and is lowering my property value."
Rather sheepishly they left. I've seen them drive slowly past my home and rose garden many times since. They've let it be known, they were sorry they had sold their home.
They had though we were redneck hillbillies and would let our property get rundown.
Perhaps, your "b" witchy neighbors will move.
Meantime, ignore them, whistle while you work and continue doing what you are doing. It'll drive them crazy.
I have great neighbors now and except for the 18 inch fence separation, which they have to care for, everything is great.
BTW, I didn't know the "b" witch word was not acceptable on this site.

Oh man, I'm so glad none of my neighbors are like that. They see me out spraying deer repellent, and I often wonder if they are thinking that I'm spraying some horrible chemicals. But no one says anything. Altho last yr, a neighbor from around the curve said there was a dead deer found in his neighbor's driveway, and the animal control lady told him she thought it got poisoned by some chemicals that people spray on their plants. He said he told her he knew it wasn't me who did that, because "she only sprays organic deer repellent!"

I don't like to spray for bugs or fungus, but I might have to start doing so as the thrips are driving me crazy. But the fungicides to me are much more toxic than insecticides. Most insecticides only have a residual of a day or so, or even less. And most of them have "Caution" labels. Most fungicides carry a "Danger" label and are much more toxic.

If I had been in your husband's shoes, or Tyvek suit as it were, I would have told her that I wouldn't worry about it unless the kids came over and ate the plants. Ya know if she uses a weed & feed on her lawn at all, that's much more "toxic" than spray residue on plants. The kids playing in the grass, the animals bringing it inside... Yuck. I work in the Lawn & Garden dept at Ace, and I can't even touch the weed & feed bags at all. The 2-4D herbicide makes me itch and my lips swell up just from breathing the fumes or handling the bags when they come in. And I hate it when a cutomer asks me to put one in their cart.

Phyl, you've got it just right: don't respond to the neighbor. Even though she was completely out of line, it's bad kharma to fight with your neighbor. Better to think in biblical terms under the circumstances. I wouldn't have responded as you did because I never back down from a confrontation. But I can't say that works well with neighbors. I also applaud your husband for suiting up. None of us needs any extra exposures. It's always better to have no regrets, all the way around.

I love all your stories and input. I would respond individually to every single one of you, but I have to get ready for work.

About more physical/sight barriers-there is a new 6-8 fott tall fence the whole length of the property they put up for their pool last year. Unfortunately, the lady's favorite thing to do is stand up on her deck (overlooking our gardens) and push meat around on her grill. Almost every day. Kind of amuses me...her idea of fun and mine are definitely very different. She thinks I'm the crazy roseaholic (who is OFTEN whistling while I work!) and I think she's a b-witchy BBQ-holic, who is always growling.

My neighbors nextdoor to me used to stand and watch my son (who was about 12 at the time) mow the lawn. Austin (now in the Navy, stationed in Guam) could never do it the way the guy thought it needed to be done. He was always offering advice. At one time, about 11 years ago, I cleaned their house, til it turned out they were always criticizing things there too. One day the man knocked on my door and wanted me to stop by and explain how I polished the wood kitchen table. He said, "About how many minutes would you say it takes for you to polish my table?" I quit soon thereafter.

Their house has sold 2-3x since. Our current neighbor has been hounding us on one of our cats, because she says one of them messes/urinates on her front garden. She asked us to put it on a leash. We finally bought her a can of Boundary for cats.
It's sad that both of these nextdoor neighbors have thought it perfectly ok for them to drain their swimming pool onto our property when we are asleep. That's a whole 'nuther issue.

We DO have one WONDERFUL family on the other side...just the nicest happy family about our age. You can tell who I love to bring flowers to. They love to come over and talk about our gardens too. They are treasured friends now. :0)

Phyl

How unforunate for you. However, be advised that there are many neighborhoods in America that are aggravated with this same kind of blight. I would be civil, ignore the rants, and smile a lot. In other words, ignore them. I'm sure your other neighbors do the same. Perhaps one day they will move, but in the meantime, don't worry about it.

Phyl, thanks for the info and update, he doesn't wear the suit any more, it would be hot and a nuisance, don't know how far I'll go with it, maybe just latex gloves (hope regular ones will do) and a breathing mask. I haven't used many chemicals but am a little paranoid about them now. Was telling my daughter how the planes used to fly overhead while I was outside playing as a kid a few blocks from where I live now, ddt for mosquitoes, banned now and maybe they weren't actually spraying us but heading places with stagnant water where they breed. Her response was maybe that was what was causing some of the cancer. Nobody seemed to think anything about it then, and no sense going out of my way looking for things to worry about.

I do remember spraying some powdery stuff you squeezed out on my nasturtiums for aphids, killed all those beautiful plants I had grown a couple years in a row, years ago, breathing it all in, you don't enjoy the odor, and gave up on the nasturtiums.

I can't say that I have enjoyed reading some of the stories here, but I can relate, have been reported to the city more than I care to remember for letting my grass get too long and weeds, was a single working mom and did let things go finally learned to mow my terrace sideways but it was hard, wish I'd known about self-propelled lawnmowers all those years. Remembering that, I try not to pick on people for things that really don't affect me.

I do have problems and sleepless nights worrying about some things like my big tree and the Noah's ark new garage 2' from my property. And he ruined my driveway excavating, probably was mad I had an easement, threatened me about my tree, used my yard, got cement dumped on it, and I didn't know about the driveway in time but damaged the bottom of my car trying to park on it, luckily $50. But I can no longer use it unless I shell out more money and don't know how on earth to excavate it without causing him a problem on the apron of the garage. My old neighbors were worse than me, they wanted a limb to fall from from my tree and knock their garage over. Once one large one did, she was all upset trying to find the ins number in the phone book, no damage at all to that ramshakle garage, so I said a fellow has stopped by to clean my mess up, and I'll just have him take care of it which he did and I paid him. They were poor, husband had one lung, other shot out in the war, and all the neighbors kept griping about them wishing they'd move or lose their house they bought on contract (they weren't hurting them and their little dog didn't bark very much), I had to live next door to it, so paid their property taxes one year when they were in trouble, only to find out the city has a program for poor senior citizens. But when they died, I sometimes I wish I'd bought that house (a fixer upper) and bulldozed it so I could have a double lot. I had the money by then but was hesitant, still kind of wish I had or I wouldn't have to put up with that ugly garage bigger than some people live in, the ugly fence, and worry. But maybe the city wouldn't give me a permit to do that, too nice to bulldoze now. I think the neighbor who kept reporting me and I are friends now, but it was always anonymous. In those bad years, nobody ever lent me a helping hand except one old neighbor I saw chipping ice off my sidewalk one winter, bless him, and one gave me a ride to work after a bad snowstorm and couldn't get my car shovelled out, let me park my car in her driveway once I did get out and before the plows got to us. The crabby neighbor did help me bag leaves once I wasn't going to do, so I tried to get along with him after that. If I or my kids couldn't do it, I always had to pay someone. Now my kids have helped me get rid of all the hedges and yew which made a lot of extra work.

I live on a corner which helps, am now a senior citizen, maybe my latest was not my neighbor, but I try to be tolerant and wish others had been more of me in the past. It's just human nature for some to behave the way they do. I wish I could move to the country but don't think I could make it alone at my age and might run into worse problems I couldn't handle than here. But if I had it all to do over again, that is what I would do now after my divorce and when the kids were little. Somehow. I would have found some job if I set my mind to it.

The best thing to keep in mind if you rent or buy a place is to consider how easy it would be to get out of it without taking a hit if things go bad. If you live in one place as long as I have, they surely will at some point. And people love to pick on you kick you when you're down, struggling and vulnerable. If you let them. There's not much you can do when you don't know who it is.

Sorry I rambled. Again. Have to discipline myself better, get lonely and do like to talk too much sometimes.

There's a great saying that could apply here: Never complain. Never explain.

Do what you want and the next time she complains tell her to get a life.

Phyl - I believe kindess never hurts. Maybe bake her a peach pie, take it to her, and explain what your husband was doing. It's hard to be mad at someone when they are giving you a pie. Who knows, you just might win her over and gain another great neighbor.

Hang in there; you sounds like a great person whom I'd love to have as my neighbor.
-terry

Consider whether it might be possible to grow disease-resistant cultivars along that fenceline.
Then you wouldn't have to spray in an area which directly concerned your neighbor.

That might, in the long-haul, be easier than having a neighbor x neighbor war.
After all, we don't know what problems or issues might have prompted her concern, and
she in the long haul has a right to query what is sprayed INTO her space.

Jeri

I don't think there's an excuse for rudeness, but I guess she's anxious. If a neighbor complained to me about my spraying, I think I'd try to work something out so that they'd be inside when I was spraying. I'm thinking that once the spray dries, there's very little risk to any neighbors. So while spraying, maybe it would be healthier for them to not be exposed to it. I'd try to let them know a regular spray schedule, stick to it, and that way I'd get my spraying done and they'd avoid any vapors. I'd also point out the chemical lawn company risks, but I think it's clear that fungicide has some risks or we wouldn't be using protective gear. They have a right to be concerned, but not rude, IMO.
Maybe if you propagate roses you could give her a plant, and get her interested in them. ( get her spraying her plants?)

I thoroughly dislike excessive neighborhood rules, which is one reason I moved from a regulated suburb to the wrong side of the tracks. My closest neighbor is a Pepsi plant. The truckers say they enjoy my garden but they do make some noise. I'd rather have that kind of noise than many other sorts. \

Beth, I always thought that fungicides were less toxic than insecticides. I will have to do a search on what Mike Rivers says.
Good luck,
Linda

Aliska, no worries about you "ranting." :0) I'm sure most of us understand about wanting to just talk to be heard, especially when you're lonely. Loneliness is very hard. :0(

MAT, wow, you sound about as diplomatic as my neighbor, who was jumping down my husband's throat without having ever even said a civil "hello" in 11 years. Don't judge me if you don't know me. I am the last one to deliberately ignore the law for my own benefit. My husband has always told me that I'm the most honest individual he has ever known. I'm not perfect, but I aspire to be kind-hearted, forgiving and honest.

I emailed Star Nurseries and Cornell Cooperative Extension today to try to find out the legalities, and why it can be sent to NYS if it isn't supposed to be sold here. If we find it's "illegal" we will go to some other fungicide. But you don't have to be so out and out rude to me, a stranger who you don't know at all.

Jeri, thanks for the advice...but our roses aren't on her fenceline anyway. The fence is about 8 feet tall, and quite a bit away from our gardens.

In the past my typical response to someone like my neighbor would be to cowtow to her & act like I was in servitude to her. I would have baked her a pie and told her I was sorry about 20 times.

And I do understand someone's concern-I was upset last year when our a fellow rose-growing neighbor offered to spray "an innocuous" spray for us that would kill JBs without being at all dangerous to even tomato plants. He was so well-meaning. The next day he finally remembered the name of the product, and it turned out to be VERY TOXIC. Instead of yelling at him for misleading us, I was just careful not to eat the spaghetti sauce he made for us, remembering that he himself had had cancer a few years back, and wondered if it could have been related to him spraying his tomato plants with Ortho insecticide, that spray he told us was "very safe."

I think I will just ignore, and if she says anything else, just respond honestly & assertively.

Thank you all for your input.
:0) Phyl

Hi Phyl,

Is it Bayer Disease Control? I use the same stuff and found this link from NYS DEC on the denial of the registration of it. Interesting info about concerns of the "average homeowner" not knowing enough to wear long sleeves and gloves, as well as "storage and disposal issues" of a 32 oz container of it.

Here is a link that might be useful: tebuconazole NYS DEC Letter

I have a man behind me who used to tell me everything was being done the wrong way and how my antique roses weren't being properly cared for because they didn't bloom very often. The list went on and on. When he would see me in the yard, he'd come over to tell me what was wrong. Now he struggles with alzheimers and the lady who is there in the day takes beautiful care of his garden. I was never nasty to him, and in the last years of his nagging, I would just stop what I was doing and go in when I saw him comming. He got the point and stopped.

The other neighbor is a nasty man. I believe he has driven screws into our tires when we parked on the street between our houses. I wish I could prove it. There are so many nasty things this man has said over the years. Just like Karl said, he complained to everyone when I had 5 and 15 gallon pots of roses lined up waiting for weed free ground. This man is always looking for an excuse to be hateful. His wife is the sweetest christian lady I ever met. I don't know how they stay married. A nice big wall solved 99% of my problems. If I even see him approaching, I just walk away. The man behind him is my friend. He said this troublemaker started bossing him and so he said to him " I'll take care of what's on my side, and you do the same". That was the end of it.

I would think that if someone has destroyed your plants with herbicide drift, or something similar, you should have a right to ask them to replace them since it was their fault. Funny how people like that respond to money.

If I thought I had a neighbor who would harm my pets, I would keep my pets inside. That's too scary a thought for me to even contemplate.

If I thought I had a neighbor who would harm my pets, I would keep my pets inside. That's too scary a thought for me to even contemplate.

Sadly they're out there. It isn't just me and one person or one town or neighborhood. Somebody had something worse on a thread once with their dog. Sometimes I just don't know. Accidents do happen. I have had to keep them inside the last 20 or more years or go out with them, partly because of traffic and the other. While I was at work years ago and much later, different neighborhood, a kid across the alley got in my garage (put them in there for the summer and ventilated it well), threw my white kittens at/through/both the garage window and broke it. I think none died, but one was badly hurt, and it was nip and tuck for awhile.

I did make a big fuss about that, but the kid's dad was at work, no mother in the home, and a houskeeper was in charge. Now incidents like that should be reported to the authorities if you are reasonably sure, let them decide. There are consequences now for cruelty to animals, more than there were back then.

Phyllrae,

My neighbors on the one side put out my trash when I forget.

The one's behind and across the street mowed the grass when they mowed theirs (until I hired a lawn guy)

I guess that's all that's really important to me.

Hope your little world gets better real soon.

I really mean that!!!

M

The Bayer Advanced Disease Control is caution, not warning or danger. Isn't it? This is what I was also trying to explain to my neighbor but he was not really listening to that part of it.

Phyl, you seem like a very nice, thoughtful person. Perhaps in order to avoid a conflict you could spray in the evening after most people have gone inside. I don't mean in the dark, of course, and I know as the season progresses, it gets dark earlier.

I believe this is why Patrick said he sprays at 5 or 6AM, something like that, because he wears a suit also and didn't want to alarm his neighbors.

After thoroughly reading each post in this thread, it is my conclusion that the best course of action is a compilation of the ideas presented:

1. Grow tomatoes and regularly spray them with a toxic chemical.

2. Make a pie with tomato filling and give it to your neighbor as a gesture of love.

3. When she drops over, ignore her.

Phyl:

I wish you were MY neighbor. You are very, very gracious. If you are so nice to MAT and your crabby neighbor I can only imagine what a sweetie you are when things are going your way:)

I think you handled the situation with much dignity and consideration for others. I doubt that with someone jumping all over me like she did I could have kept a firm hold on my temper. Good for you! Although I will likely fail I'm going to try and emulate you the next time of my neighbors rubs me the wrong way.

Kate

That's so nice of you to say, Kate. It would be so much fun to have you as MY neighbor, too! In fact, it would probably be a lot of fun to have all of you GWers in the neighborhood!

Oh, BTW, the nice, "helpful" gardening neighbor who offered to spray our roses for JBs last summer, and then later remembered that it was "an Ortho systemic pesticide".....he saw me picking JBs this afternoon and asked me if we'd had many. I didn't let him know we had tons...because I just knew he'd offer again to come over and spray again! He said he only had a few (I think he probably has already sprayed!) Our JBs have been here for a few weeks now....and I collect probably 200 a day.
:0) Phyl

First, try to put yourself in the neighbor's shoes. She sees your husband dressed in full Hazmat gear spraying near her property. He probably looked like one of those government men who came to take ET away. That would scare me. People don't want toxic chemicals on their property. She did not know what kind of chemicals you were spraying only that they seemed to require some serious gear to apply.

I would write her a note and let her know that it is only a fungicide and your roses require it. Let her know that you don't use it as soil drench. Let her know that all that protection is not really required according to the label, but you and your husband believe in being extra cautious about chemicals. Offer to spray only when she is not there.

I spray the same stuff myself and just wear t shirts and shorts. I only have about 10 roses. When I spray I am real careful to only spray down wind. I don't spray the undersides of the leaves or anything above my waist height. On a few occasions, the spray has drifted onto my feet, but I immediately went inside and washed it off with soap. When I am finished I wash and scrub all exposed skin just to be sure. I would rather wear the full gear, but I live in Florida and it is a humid 93 degrees and I would die of heat stroke.

It sounds to me like the dog is no longer an adequate sparring partner for this woman and so shes looking to up the ante. To be on the safe side, don't use chemicals you can't buy approved for use in your area. As others have pointed out, she doesn't want to be a good neighbor, she wants conflict. Thats going to be hard to deal with. If it were me, I'd build as tall a fence, one as opaque as possible, and eliminate as much as possible her ability to scrutinize your activities on your own property.

Obviously she's not happy about something (probably many somethings) and shes looking for ways to vent her frustrations. Its hard to be sympathetic towards that kind of hostility, but if you want to play the saint role, you can try and friend her and find out whats wrong and help her fix it. If you can restore happiness to her life, you will win the battle for both of you. But this is a difficult scenario and not likely to be an easy win. She probably likes being angry and confrontational. Too bad for everyone :-(

I spray, wear a respirator, my husband's old army clothes, hat, and long gloves. It looks real scary and probably to the point of "funny." My neighbors seem to not mind the "outfit." I do enjoy giving them some roses and they seem to enjoy receiving them. They even give me vases so I can share the roses with other people. I don't know if things have escalated too far, but if not, make your neighbor a little bouquet of roses and see if this helps. She may become one of your best friends. Good luck!

I wrote the woman a short letter and explained about what we spray and DON'T spray, and told her that she'd probably be more exposed to carcinogens by eating non-organic produce or by the neighbor's weed 'n feed etc. than be our spraying foliage on a calm day. I told her it would be nice to get to know her. The ball is in her court now.
Thanks everyone, for the comments and advice!
:0) Phyl

Hello all,

Tyvec suit at almost all paint stores. They have them at Lowe's and Home Depot also but only in "One size fits none". I purchased one today at Sherwin Williams paint store to spray my Daconil --$5 for washable - line dry. I was so SICK & TIRED of completely undress and shower after spray Daconil. Now I just take gloves and suit off and toss all into wash machine - warm water NO bleach.

Cheers,
DL

Thanks for the information on the tyvec suit, dancing demons. I was thinking of wearing some mens' long underwear I have and never use but spray can get through it. The tyvec would be much better. Either not good in hot weather.

Still I'm going to research sprays more for ingredients and toxic effects on the environment, birds, bees, butterflies. I've used one now with lasting residual effects that are obviously toxic to bees. Not good.

If the spray is illegal then it is illegal. Your husband will have to stop using that particular fungicide; which is why it is important for gardeners, including rosarians, to know their sprays, the health/environmental impacts, and be proactive to keep ridiculous laws off the books. I know I'm opening myself up to a firestorm but my experience with the crazy (and yes they ARE crazy and irrational) green types is most if given the chance would outlaw ALL horticultural chemicals from the market, regardless whether the potential harm is insignificant. Sorry but that is my opinion.

As for your neighbor ... well to be honest if I were in that situation I would have pulled the mask off, walked up to the fence and called the woman a B right to her face then hollered her down (which probably explains why I do my spraying in the very early morning around 4am). There is only one way to deal with a bully and that is to stand up to monster.

BTW, the wife of my next door neighbor is very similar. We don't speak to each other. Frankly, I wish a tornado would drop a house on the witch.

Personally phylrae if it were me I'd just ignore the neighbor and go on with my business. I wouldn't alter my schedule in any way, and wouldn't give them the time of day. You're under no obligation to explain anything to them whatsoever, and if they persist, I would firmly tell them to mind their own business. But then that's just me...

Greg
Nevada

"If the spray is illegal then it is illegal."

It's illegal to sell, distribute or use on Long Island. She isn't anywhere near Long Island. Therefore it isn't illegal for her to use.

"I know I'm opening myself up to a firestorm but my experience with the crazy (and yes they ARE crazy and irrational) green types is most if given the chance would outlaw ALL horticultural chemicals from the market, regardless whether the potential harm is insignificant. Sorry but that is my opinion."

I like Phyl's approach better.