I thought vermiculture questions were posted on that forum? (can of worms, get it???) Hee, hee, hee.

For myself, I wish that he would want to learn more about them. Since he likes to prune the ones at home, over *time* he has begrudgingly learned about this (I nearly passed out when he pruned most of them winter before last to about 6" - lost the ones that were spindly already). The mountain roses are off limits. I keep telling him the reasons why and I often repeat "I'm not making this stuff up!" Sigh...

I know what you're going to say, he doesn't need to share my hobby; however, for example, he has again taken up guitar (happily not drums or trumpet ;-) and in his enthusiasm, wants to share this and that about it (a LOT). Being somewhat tone deaf, I appreciate what I can. I have also gone to numerous motorcycle shows to keep him company and will watch the races on tv. I even watch NASCAR when we record it (gotta be in the garden during the day!) and enjoy it (I'm 'mechanically inclined').

But, my one hobby I seriously can't keep his interest for more than five minutes. I'm waiting for a good time to get him to watch one of Paul's videos. Not a divorce in the making, but still disappointing...

It's not really a 'bugging' thing, but I wish he were more able to walk the garden with me. Back pain and health issues make him quite sedentary. He listens well though. And he has NO sense of smell left so stopping to smell the roses would be a vain effort anyway - poor guy, he wants so much to "smell just one".

Sherry

My husband does not want to help in the garden anymore. That is ok since he has agreed to dig the holes, make the cages and plant. But I wish he loved gardening the way I do. However, if he loved it the way I do, he may have stronger opinions about the roses we select, and that would limit what I can have that I like.

I guess I will take him the way he is. Ha ha.

Sammy

I really can't complain about my DH---he is willing to dig holes---build arbors---fix the hoses --just about anything I ask him to do. But he doesn't share my interest to the degree that I do---his interest is mostly in the many, many azaleas he has propagated over the years

Our yard is glorious right now with his over 150 mature bushes----

He does get a little upset when the thorns grab him while he is trying to work in the yard.

I guess I'm like Sammy-----maybe it would cause a problem if he isisted on a rose that I did not like----LOL so far that hasn't happened.

Florence

My amiable spouse - and yes, I stole that one, but it is so very fine, is not someone that there is much to complain about. He can dig and I am rather past it and he evidences interest in every half witted thing that I attempt in my garden (which is solely my domain and suffers from that fact) although I think he may be thinking about something else altogether at least part of the time.

I am a very fortunate person at least in regard to the man who makes my life possible and I hardly ever forget it - certainly not when there is a large hole that needs to be dug.

My husband is just as passionate about gardening as I am but I have read more and he doesn't always trust my received wisdom, for instance about the ultimate size of a mature rose. He does most of the planting but tends to plant roses too close. He has occasionally bought a plant that I am certain will not thrive in our dry garden and he's had to go back to the nursery and replace it. But most of the time I love his little surprises and he has a good eye for colour and form.

I have no spouse, therefore I have nothing to "bug" me. haha

My husband's virtues in this area are so flamingly obvious that I can't come up with anything. He digs holes, hauls mulch, plants plants (not always to my standards), builds structures (ditto), and willingly comes on walks with me to see what's going on. He's a truly valiant mower--we have steep land and pasture grass. Like Sherry's husband, he's lost most of his sense of smell, so we can't share that pleasure. He likes the garden because it makes me happy, and I think he has a certain affection for plants simply because they're living things. He isn't much of a gardener himself, which is on the whole a good thing, since otherwise we might fight over garden design, cultivation, and plant selection. In spite of living in the middle of a garden of three hundred varieties of old roses, species and their hybrids, and shrub roses, he still prefers Hybrid Teas, the kind he can get for five to seven euros at the local garden center; and he has his own bed of them (and now he's finding out about weeding and pruning and mulching, Ha ha!).Every once in a while he brings home a plant without having consulted me first, and I have to find a place for it. He is bad about wanting lots of trees, now that I come to think of it; and I also have to repeat over and over my reasons for not buying those same roses he gets instead paying two or three times the price for rare roses from specialist nurseries. Repeated failures with plants he chose ignoring my advice have, I think, taught him some respect for my judgement, and he doesn't do that so much any more.
All in all, I think he's a pretty heavenly husband for a gardener.
Melissa

Is this a "ladies only" topic?... ;oP

The lovely Mrs. Cadfael has no other annoyances to my hobby other than:

She will ask me every spring "Don't you have enough roses?"....
I kindly escort her to her shoe closet, open the door, and say nothing.

and...

She still wants me to plant HT's after she witnessed what a pain in the but they are in this climate when I first started rosing.

BC:)

I can't complain about my dearest either, although he has to be fed before I drag him out into the rain to relocate something huge, heavy and thorny. Food is essential to reduce the grumpiness level in that case. x)

The only thing that sometimes makes me sigh, is that he tends to look over my shoulder at the roses I have ordered and picks something that I've planed to plant in less prominent part of the garden as the most beautiful rose of the bunch. Once I showed him a dozen of very full, very pretty, very fragrant roses - he yawned at all of them and then when I wanted to close Ghislaine de Feligonde tab (which I had open because I was looking for something to hide trash containers in shady corner), he was like oooh, that one looks pretty, plant that one.

Also DH most favorite plants are thistles and sea holly... So we have a joke, that my roses are just a background for his thistles, since neighbors definitely would not understand thistle-only garden. :)Though to be fair, nowadays DH tends to have a personal interest in well being of some roses, especially the ones I had to cut back significantly due to some breaking damage - I think he finds it fascinating to inspect the new canes appearing and putting a good growth per day.

My hubby is perfect in this area. He goes with me to the nursery and he pays. LOL.

My husband helps me and appreciates the roses. The only thing that bugs him is that we have completely different tastes in roses. He likes bold bright colors, orange, hot pink, bright yellow. I tend to prefer the pinks, whites, purples. So he's been begging me for awhile to add these roses and I feel they are messing up my color scheme. However, now that many of the roses I've planted the past 2-3 years are blooming, he loves Crepescule, Golden Celebration and Carmello. He'd prefer they be darker, but he's happy that there is some brightness (and less pink) in the garden.

The only problem I have with my DH is that he hates that my hobby is so "expensive". He is a stingy spender and cringes at any rose purchase, whether $8 or $108 dollars lol. He is amazed at the roses that are blooming right now so he may be less upset when I put in more orders :) He is a FANTASTIC digger/mulcher/lawnmower so the good waaay overshadows the not soo good!

No real complaints.
My DH builds arbors, raised beds and trellises. He digs holes and hauls mulch and manure. He has learned not to buy me a bouquet of cut flowers for any occasion...I'd rather have a gift certificate to my favorite nursery. He also pretends to listen while I babble on about my roses...sensing when to interject with an "uh-huh, yep, sounds good or sure go ahead and order it."
Gotta love that.
~Melissa

My spouse is very wonderful but if I could change one thing it would be to strengthen his weak back so that he could dig all the holes I dream of and haul bags of compost, etc.

He would do it now but I cannot allow it because it would precipitate physical therapy, chiropractor and such. Otherwise he is perfect.

My husband was a complete non-gardener when I met him, being a strange amalgam of NASCAR fanatic, computer geek, artist and expert on military history and astronomy. (You guessed it, he has long hair). Anyway, without knowing SdlM from a dandelion, he willingly and cheerfully dug endless holes, encouraged me to keep on buying more and more roses without ever once asking how much they cost, gloried in my happiness with gardening and has become interested in rose photography. The only thing that, if left alone, he will do wrong with incredible regularity is plant a rose (or anything else) with the "ugly" side facing forward. I've learned not to move from his side when it comes to placing a plant because of this incredible talent of his. But, what a small price to pay.

Ingrid

No real complaints besides his liking gaudy HTs. He's always wishing I'd grow "brighter, more colorful" roses.

My husband willingly built pathways, raised beds, erected arbors, etc. But the man is incapable of stepping a few feet into the garden without being snagged by a rose. Yes, he is a foot taller than me with broad shoulders, but I don't understand how such an athletic guy doesn't seem to notice where the roses are. HE says that there should be no risk of the roses catching him. EYE say he should pay attention to where he is.

I've noticed that with the Sheriff's Work Crew in the cemetery, too - the men seem to just walk into a rose, and then get angry. In my opinion, it's simple: if you see a cane hanging into a path, don't go down it, and move the rose aside.

I don't know if it's a matter of gender, or just the difference between a rose lover, who is well aware of where the roses are and perfectly happy to dodge and weave through them, and somebody who is indifferent to them.
Anita

She will ask me every spring "Don't you have enough roses?"....
I kindly escort her to her shoe closet, open the door, and say nothing.

Too funny!

Everyone sounds on the whole to have a wonderful spouse. Maybe that's why we've kept them! :)

Are we all married to the same man (not you, Brother Cadfael)? Gee, it seems not only are rose people kind and generous but they also marry wonderful men (and women). I love this phenomenon.

*** he evidences interest in every half witted thing that I attempt in my garden (which is solely my domain and suffers from that fact) although I think he may be thinking about something else altogether at least part of the time. ***

Ditto, Lottirose.

Great thread, hoovb.

Sherry

Add my dear husband to the list of perfect garden partners. The roses are my love, but he does whatever he can to help me with them. My web site and all of my marketing materials are a result of his artistic eye and his skill with a computer.

Earlier this year, I pruned and he cleaned up after me, making trip after trip with the golf cart ... carrying heaps of prunings to the brush pile.

This dear man spent his Sunday today, in unseasonable heat, clearing a section of my Rose Field of weeds. Part of the process did include incinerating the smaller weeds with a propane weed torch ... but, I digress.

He and I complement each other. This time of year, roses are my almost-full-time job, so I have little else to talk about some days. He listens intently to my stories, as if roses are his love too.

No complaints here.

Connie

Did I mention mine cooks?

Sherry

My spouse is interested in the garden but mostly only works in it when I am not there. She will pick a rose from the gated community based on the bloom and plant it where she wants it. The trouble is the roses in the gated community run from nice smaller roses to the big arching cane types. She will almost always pick a larger rose and put it to the south of a smaller rose.

One good thing is she never actually counts how many roses are in the gated community. When she says you must have twenty roses back there I smile and say yes dear.

Lance

My husband is also perfect. He builds structures for me if I ask. Sometimes it may take awhile for him to get around to it. He knows how much I like trying to be independent, but also will jump in to dig holes, haul dirt, haul mulch etc. when I have overdone. He keeps the lawn mowed and does the laundry when the sun is out and I won't come in for anything. He also does the dishes. He has learned to fend for himself on days that I am in the groove outside. He loves me as much as I love him. We are best friends.

My DH is almost perfect. He willingly pays for all my garden extravaganzas, without complaint. He goes to rose talks with me. He helps me in the garden. He tells everyone how beautiful our yard is, and that I have 100 roses. (He states this with pride and enthusiasm, after he asked me how many rose bushes we had.) He never complains about the house going into disarray while I'm out in the garden. He asks if I need him to do anything. He keeps an eye out on my flowers and knows every inch almost as much as I do.

Why 'almost' perfect? He likes to water the roses with an overhead sprayer. I keep telling him not to do that, but he thinks he's helping. Sweet thing.

He cannot, cannot, cannot take the heat. Even this time of year, if he helps out for an hour and a half, I am very lucky. He dug two holes for me this Saturday. I did the other five. I have been out in the worst clay areas of my yard digging holes with a pick-axe. I do most of the garden all by myself, which is darn hard work. I just hooked up the trailer to get some mulch on Friday and passed a billboard ad saying "Wife Complaining? Call us for mulch." No, the wife is NOT complaining, she is taking care of business, thanks.

Hehe Sherry, mine cooks as well, although with a wife out and about in the garden they have to learn to fend for themselves sometimes, don't they? :D

I have no complaints about my wife!

She lets me squander dollars away and time to build my garden..

I dont expect her to share the same passion as I do, if she enjoys some of the fruits of my labor, I am satisfied with that! She will stroll through with me to see what is going on and patiently listen to my ever going rambling about roses, or plants, or future garden plans...

She really is terrific!

Maybe one thing I can pull up is her constant reminding of where our budget is =)... and then when we stroll through the garden.. hey I want you to add this next year.. Great if my budget was bigger!

BTW an uneven count for sure as I didnt really add it up, but it seems we "dudes" are outnumbered 5-1 in here! Yet most of the poeple I know who garden are men! Im wondering if its a community sharing thing, where they dont want to post online?

Silverkelt

I also truly believe I hit the jackpot. A few days ago I began building another raised rose bed. Today I worked. When I came home... you guessed it the bed was complete. The leftover crushed gravel for the base was spread around the front of the barn.
Only complaint every rose would be red if he did all the picking. And yes I choose many red roses for him.
So glad to hear that many of us are blessed.
Jeannie

Well, maybe I have a more unique perspective on my perfect spouse. He absolutely refuses to do garden chores with two exceptions. He will prune trees in late winter and he mows the lawn. You see, having grown up on a farm, he left for a very good reason. He hates farming (or gardening in this case. They are the same to him). He told me early on in my gardening days that he "ain't farming". So, forewarned I blithely forged forward.

He also does the grocery shopping for me during the spring when I am busiest. Oh, and anytime we have visitors who compliment my garden, he says, "Everything you see is Barbara's doing."

So, you see, I really can't complain.

Barbara

Oh, my, where to begin. You all are extremely lucky, and I feel so lucky, too, being married 46 years. That said, there is this one little habit he has that bugs me. He is a "collector", and that means he collects everything, which immediately gets placed in the garage (for future use). :) When it got to the point that not one more thing could not be stuffed in, he moved his old Mustang out to the driveway. The 4 "collected" auto engines moved to the yard right at the end of my in-progress flower bed, to offset my newly acquired G Nabonand, Souv de la Malmaison, Dutchess de Brabant, etc. However, he did cover them up with an old tarp anchored by bricks and logs on top to protect from rain and wind. This freed up room in the garage for the new toilets, sinks, hardware, etc. he was given by a plumbing shop going out of business. One toilet just wouldn't fit, so its new home was on a pallet on the patio in the cardboard box, which took about one year to disintegrate, so on went the tarp and the bricks. Lucky me. I am normally a pretty patient person, and he never bugs me about my rose addiction, willingly helps out when I ask, but enough was enough! After numerous discussions regarding why I was having such a fit about having a toilet on our patio, off it went to the patio out by the shed. There it sat, through heat and cold, until he FINALLY got to the point of installing it in our new bathroom. This was very exciting for him, his fancy black toilet to go with the fancy black tub, etc. He got it in, turned on the water, and BAM, it blew a hole in the side, flooded the new tile floor. End of toilet. I thought he was going to cry; mean me, I never laughed so hard in my life.

I have nothing to complain about today, instead, I will glee over my husband actually being interested in me talking about Autumn Damask for a few minutes before getting bored. :)

Ogrose,
Are you saying you are married to a man capable of blowing a hole through a new toilet and you do not see him as perfect? That is a feat most men can only dream of.

Ogrose, I'm thinking of having you nominated for sainthood. You're quite a woman. I admire you tremendously.

Ingrid

P.S. Not to hurt your feelings, but I don't think Harry was exactly complimenting your husband. I think he was too much in awe to remember to do that.

He got it in, turned on the water, and BAM, it blew a hole in the side, flooded the new tile floor. End of toilet. I thought he was going to cry; mean me, I never laughed so hard in my life.

I'm laughing pretty hard myself, and I wasn't even there. Thanks for the great story!

:-)

No spouse, but just had to chime in to say if I woke up one morning hating old roses, I would still read this forum.

I second the nomination!

ahhh that was a good one about the fancy toilet. :))))

Ogrose, I found that wide and tall beautiful roses work well as screens to hide these "collections" so long as their thorns don't snag anyone. I guess the poor toilet got weathered being outside in the elements for so long:)
Enjoyed your story, very funny, had to chuckle!

Hi rosedigger, I suspect you're right about the toilet, I don't remember how many years it was out in the elements.

Happy ending to story; the car was sold, they also took the 4 engines, I was so happy, now it's on to the garage full force. We're trying to "simplify" our life, right! In other words, he needs space to put all of his tools which are stored in the back bedroom that needs to be tiled and painted. Then it's on to the shed which is full of old computers that he built, old parts and other important things. He is not happy about this...

Lots of positive anecdotes about spouses here! Nobody has SP'd one yet....

We all are pretty lucky aren't we. My situation is perfect. My better half doesn't do any of the work, but attentively listens to the names and nuances of each and every rose as we walk through the gardens at my whim, and has even started actively squishing aphids as we walk through. What more could I ask for?

My late DH wasn't a perfect human by any means, but when it came to my roses I certainly never had a complaint. The only flower he ever showed an independent interest in was a marigold because he liked the bright color, LOL, but he built raised beds and arches, hauled mulch for me, and encouraged me to spend money on rosey adventures. I never felt more loved than when he would ask me how my roses were growing - not that he cared about them, but he wanted so much for me to be happy.
Yes, we all are pretty lucky.

Annececilia, what a nice post! My husband has become very ill and can't help me anymore either, but he sure did when he could. I recently retired to stay home to care for him, and when he's resting I go work in the yard - very therapeutic for me. Don't think I would make it very well without my gardening!

DH does all the digging and heavy labor, and has his own kitchen garden, since he does all the cooking. Right now he's way into homebrewing beer, which is a year-round activity, so he's got no room to talk where obsessions are concerned.

My only peeve regarding DH and roses is that he is absolutely useless when I show him a rose in a book/catalog/online. He finds fault with everything, I think just to get a rise out of me.

I'd be crazy to complain about Michael. I'm so thankful for the partnership he's given me in my rose passion. His support of and belief in the garden, my life's work, means the world to me. He is fond of ORANGE but I've learned to accept it.

i wish my wife would show an interest in the garden period.
i have so much fun all things plant related especially roses. i don`t buy her flowers; i just planted her a whole rose garden instead;)
there is nothing like sitting back on a warm summer afternoon with a glass of terrific local wine, watching the birds and smelling the roses wafting in the breeze- somehow, she doesn`t get it...
however, when company comes over, she will stop at nothing making sure the backyard is spotless and will even go as far as scrubbing the patio and making sure there are no traces of fallen petals , etc.
if she ever saw the light it would thrill me to no end.

Since you've each said pretty much what I would say, I'll just chime in a little. Great thread! My hubby has never been the gardening type but is always willing to sharpen my tools and photograph the roses. He tags along with me on garden trips when I invite him. He does get that glazed over look on his face at times but I'm really happy he is there where he usually watches and photographs birds (I'm always looking down; he's always looking up). He works hard on his ocean swimming, sculpting stone pieces, and ocean sport fishing so I don't mind doing all the digging, hauling, etc. Actually it's my best exercise!