The container outside would be a welcome mat for BEARS at my house. If you don't have bears, I still think the ants will come. (or maybe worse visitors...rats, skunks. You may be able to compost the rats...)

I would shop for a new boyfriend, as long as composting him is out of the question.

I like Lloyds idea regarding the 'wacko' thread. Remind him that your composting endeavors could be FAR more extreme...

If that doesn't help... withholding sex was also a great suggestion.

Les

While your at it you should start collecting urine in a bucket in the house and see what he says to that compared to temporary indoor compost container.

Yes, the chamber pot. An idea that is due for a renaissance.

Opposites attract. My wife and I are complete and total opposites in most every way I can imagine.
This man has been called a control freak yet the advice given is to get rid of him or withhold sex. If you understand that you are supposed to be different and are willing to accept each other for who you are a long relationship can be had.
If you to save the scrapes then find a way that works for both of you. Ask for his input. Show you are concerned about his concerns.
After 45 years of marriage and 5 kids, that are far superior to either of us, I know there is a reason for opposites attract.

I agree with nova, it would really be insane to give up a relationship over compost.

Appeal to his inner primal man. Ask him to pee in your pile. As was said before empty the container often. Ask him to use his big strong muscles to help you turn it. Annpat had some good sugesstions last fall but i can`t find the thread...

I think she r u n n o f t cause if all you wackos! She's probably busy sanitizing her computer of all references to this site.

Hi & welcome to gardenweb.

Assuming he's not actually giving you orders like a drill sergeant, which I would not abide, I'm with those who said you should ask him for his ideas. It's not a question of IF you're (as a family, not just you) going to compost, but HOW you're going to do it. Two heads are always better than one so give him a chance to help control this compost issue and get involved. He might feel like you're dictating to him "we WILL compost" as much as you feel like he's dictating to you "we WON'T compost".

I confess I don't get compostables taken outside every day and although there are sometimes fruit flies, and ants are EVERYWHERE outside, they've never shown an interest in coming into my kitchen. If they did, and the material was moved, they would leave. If your container has a lid, you won't attract any kinds of bugs. There is no odor to attract them, and they are physically barred from accessing the material.

Tox is so funny!
I found an old thread about a closed bin system. It is not supposed to get any bugs at all. I do sometimes get ants when I get lazy about adding my Starbucks grounds. Hot composting is great. It does keep away the bugs. It is a lot of work. With a bin like this you don't have to worry about bugs even coming up from the ground. Ants can tunnel into a bin on the ground. You can be hot composting, but if you slip up for only a week or two then things can cool down and ants can come inside. I don't mind the ants, but I do mind that they are carrying away my compost to their nest. I see them with like little pieces of bread in their "jaws" walking away. Ants are a real concern also because if the ants are doing well, thanks to your compost, they will expand and live in new places like your house. I had to buy ant bait and go on an offensive. I wanted to link to this old thread but garden web, said the link was invalid. But you can find it " Anyone have this composter?" I am bumping it up.

I make my teenager dump it, but when he leaves home, sweetie says that it goes out every evening, not the next mourning.

I've had a good laugh this morning reading all these responses. However, obviously to you, it's not a laughing matter. Good relationships require understanding and compromise. Composting is important to you and what right does he have to "veto" your collection of compostables that would otherwise go into the trash. It may be he just doesn't fully appreciate your passion for making this environmental commitment. It may also be, as others have indicated, a troubling sign of his passion for control. My wife and I have been married for than 40 wonderful years. We still have disagreements, but neither of us would feel we have veto rights over the other. We leave those "veto rights" to the United Nations Security Council and the President.

Pick your battles carefully. Compost is not an important enough issue to make a fuss over, unless you are compost wacko. If it was me, I could not give composting. Here you find compost enablers.

Girlfriend was horrified by compost. Neighbors, too, as they all considered it throwing garbage in the yard. Had a pile in the way back. Times when I was home alone cooking I collected a bag and put it there, along with leaves and old plants. Snuck some of this and that. Left it alone. Went with GF to parties where no one knew what compost was. Kept mentioning quietly and gently that I was delighted that she loved loved loved the little veggies and flowers that survived - they'd be better if I had more compost. Said it once only. Spent money on buying compost. Soon more and more people knew what compost is and it became a normal word in polite conversation. Moved to a bigger kitchen that we designed with a big new garden space. Dug holes outside in "my" part of garden. Kept a can outside for the coffee grounds. Got verbally excited and informed her that my seedlings for the flowers she loved were so happy. Got grudging ok for a can near the sink, emptied every evening.
Joined a gardening group and they all told her how lovely my piles were and how lucky she was. While cooking together she started to ask if I wanted this or that for the compost. Got hugs etc, later "for no reason". Fabulous year for compost and no more complaining. Went on vacation for a week by myself. Was told in no uncertain terms that she wasn't going to save, empty or think about compost while I'm gone. Got an email that she felt really bad throwing stuff in the garbage, and how funny that was, and how much she loves me. Brought her special gifts from far away. Problem solved.

It's really a room mate issue, not a sweetheart issue. Treat it like one. Find the middle. Compost takes time and patience, and letting natural systems happen. So does love.

Post of the Day award goes to batya! :-D

Picking battles carefully is why the divorce rate is so high. Everyone ignores supposed minor items till it all come to a head and they discover they cannot stand each other.
Sadly this happens far, far,far too often after children are born.

The op poster hasn't returned.

Next week, we'll see her post asking a question about composting blood stained towels.

(thats a joke)

I feel bad, I hope she replies.

toxcrusadr, I love that line from "Oh Brother,...."

The OP's complaint reminds me of the threads where spouses complain that "Dh won't allow me to expand the garden bed because of his lawn" "Dh won't let me buy new plants" "Dw doesn't like all my houseplants" etc.

I own my own home, have my own money, and will compost whenever and whatever I want.

I don't keep compost in my home over night, either. I really don't see the problem with our original poster simply taking her little bin outside at night instead of in the morning. Problem solved, right? It's just part of the nightly kitchen clean-up, in our household.

Of course, the boyfriend should probably be the one to take it out of an evening, since it bothers him so much.

I think what happened here is some of us read "My boyfriend ... has flat out told me ..." and immediately said "dump his ass". Those who stated that relationships are about compromise need to understand that compromise goes both ways and "flat out told me" is not compromise. Compromise is what some of the answers to this thread are. I don't read the OP as a compost issue ... it sounds like a relationship issue.

"Everyone ignores supposed minor items till it all come to a head and they discover they cannot stand each other."
Exactly. Better to identify a bad relationship early on then to let one grow then fail miserably.

This actually happens with almost any hobby. When I'm not here I spend a lot of time on an audio forum which happens to be heavy on members who like old, big, heavy and imposing audio equipment. We have exactly the same threads that go exactly the same way.

For example:
"I brought home these 1968 Megalith 27-cubic foot speakers and my wife says I can't put them in the living room!"

And the standard answers are:

"You need a new wife!"

"You need to compromise, it's important in relationships. Put the speakers in the basement and build yourself a man cave!"

"Just tell her this is the way it's going to be, period!"

"Those speakers aren't that good, get some ____ which are much smaller and sound better."

"I'm single and I can do whatever I want in my house!"

It's so predictable it's funny!

"Megalith 27-cubic foot speakers"

Perfect cubic yard....dump the electronics out of them and use 'em as compost bins! Then you can compost indoors and no one would be the wiser.

;-)

Lloyd

I was this OP at one time. I loved gardening and animals. I was very neat and responsible with my hobbies but my ex- boyfriend whom I also lived with had zero tolerance for anyting that I loved. The way she has worded this scenario makes me think she's in the same situation was. I was with him for almost 5 years. I am now married to a man who although he isn't as crazy about my hobbies as I am, likes them to a degree, and more importantly is tolerant enough to let me do my hobbies. He likes to play video games and brew his own beer which I allow since I am allowed to do my hobbies in peace. I was also told to "find a new boyfriend" a million times and hung onto a bad relationship anyway for years. No one tells me to find a new man now. I would also recommend the OP get out if her situation is similar to what mine was, which is my gut reaction to this post. There was NO compromise with the ex and if I went against his rules he made my life hell. In fact, we had the same argument over a compost bin, way at the back of the property, made it out of pallets but he thought it was an eyesore. THREE YEARS after we've been separated that old pallet bin is still at the back of the property with weeds growing all around it, so it obviously didn't bother him that bad. Would have been 10 minutes of work to drag it to the burn pile and be rid of it.

Well said bookjunky.

Lloyd: I tried that, but the acoustics of the cabinet were never the same from day to day with the decomposing pile changing the internal volume. Fruit flies were coming in and out of the ports. And the midrange became increasingly 'humic'. :-p

Once when I was lobstering, bait was scarce and my regular dock had run out, so I tried a few other wharfs and was still unable to get any. I knew that the last place I tried had bait; they just didn't want to sell it to me because I wasn't one of their customers, so in a shameful attempt to appeal to the dealer's softer, sympathetic side, I said, batting my eyelashes, "Oh, if I can't get bait today, my husband's going to kill me." The unmoved bait monger replied in a thick Maine accent, "Oh, I don't think he'll kill you. He might rough you up a little."

snort

If the sampling of this board proves anything, it is that composters have character. This happens to be pretty much the nicest, friendliest board I have come across on gardenweb (funny too, love the audio stuff tox). Really, perhaps one's love of compost could be a litmus test for future relationships?

I gotta use this next time the DW rolls her eyes....us "composters have character"...we are not whackos!

;-)

Lloyd

I still think most people gave the wrong advice. If you leave the compost outside the door it will attract ants. If she get ants, that will only prove her boyfriend is right. Instead I suggest better practices for her pile to avoid ants. I guess some people are ok with lots of ants. Ants bring aphids into your garden. Ants milk them for honey dew. There is a million reason to care about ants and not let them get out of control.

I don't know Tropical, I scanned the thread and the only person I can find who recommended the 'porch bucket' approach was me. I apparently seconded someone else's recommendation for that, but I can't even find it now.

In any case, a bucket that sits overnight to be emptied the next day, or even one that takes a couple days to fill, is not going to be there long enough for an ant nest to develop. If she tries that and there are ants, she can try something different.

I (along with many others in my area) get tiny ants in my kitchen every spring, but they never seem to find the 5-gal bucket a few feet away on the deck that hasn't been decommissioned for summer yet and still has stuff in it. So it's not an automatic recipe for an ant invasion.

Your comments about ants, fruit flies, etc. etc. are starting to make me wonder if you may prefer surroundings with no insects whatsoever. If so, composting may not be a good hobby for you. :-]

I think a lot of us know better than to seriously become involved in a domestic dispute. However we do acknowledge that the compost ought to be protected at all costs ergo we chose to mock the situation in order to relax people with our humour and wit.

:-)

Lloyd

The thing about the ants is when you have a food supply for them, they will enjoy living around you so much, they will decided to build a nest near by. In my case, they built it in the next yard, then they came into my yard and into my bin to eat my compost. I could not stand to lose compost. I am all in favor of lady bugs and other helpful bugs. More food for ants means more ants, a population increase. If she was not cleaning the kitchen any longer and ants starting coming in, everyone would think, oh that is different, clean up your kitchen or make him clean it up. What is the different between clean house and a clean yard, and a compost process that is clean?

I was not singling anyone out. I was more annoyed that people would dump a lover over something like that, then about the ants over all. I mean if there were other problems, but if everything else was perfect. What is more important, a soul mate or composting? If you do composting different you won't have an over flow of ants. I still see a few ants in the yard, but they don't take over my bin. The hot composting keeps them out out of the bins. I don't have an abnormal number of ants any longer.

I'm greedy, I want my soul mate and compost.

I am not a big fan of ants in the house, but the ones we get tend to be in search of water. I keep 2 ice cream buckets under the sink and the kids do not always consistently place their lids on tightly, and even when full, there is a good chance they are sitting there for more than just one day. I never have ants in my compost buckets. I don't sweat ants getting into the actual pile. Aphids get into the garden all on their own. Such is life with roses and brassicas.

Maybe you could put the container under the sink, and make SURE you empty it daily. He'd never know it was there. Then you could both be happy.

BTW, ants don't come inside because we have food. They come inside because their dens get flooded with rain, and the inside of our houses are dry. So anytime you get lots of rain, you could end up with ants in your house. Three words - TERRO bait traps.

Deanna

I have a ceramic "cookie jar" with a lid on the counter, it looks like a flour jar or cookie jar, it has a lid with a rubber gasket. I empty it when it gets full, it's like a gallon size so maybe every two-three days? No flies, ants or smells of any kind.

Outside at the back door, I have a 5 gal pail with a lid. The lid just sits on top, I empty the kitchen jar into the back door bucket, when the back door bucket is full I go dump it in the compost bins. Maybe once every 2 weeks. the bucket doesn't attract any wild animals, or insects, there is no oder permeating from it.

The 2 bin system I have right now (soon to be 3) is mixed with a lot of leaves and grass clippings. I save all my leaves in contractor bags, I fill the bags in the fall and squish the leaves down, pack more leaves, squish, pack squish. I have 4 huge maples, and fit most of thier leaves into 4 large contractor garbage bags. As I add a bucket of scraps, I take a bunch of leaves out of an open bag and stir it in good. This keeps the piles hot and composting instead of cold and stinky.

On to the boyfriend issue, even though I am quite sure OP is long gone, I wanted to weigh in. Yes this is just one issue, but based on the wording that was used, and our experience as humans, we know that people are generally consistant. I am quite sure he isn't loving and supportive of her in every way and ONLY for compost has lost his reasonability and given her an ultimatum.

There are only two reasonable scenarios I can think of. 1) OP is a complete slob, and the BF is just trying to set a limit on some of her worst habits. Just because we are compost whackos and have tidy systems in place to handle our future black gold, doesn't mean OP has a tidy well thought out system. Her mention of tupperware makes me think this isn't a likley option but it must be considered.

2) The OP's boyfriend is just a jerk. Sometimes jerks are jerks because they know they can be. You could try a last ditch effort, if you haven't already, and really it would only be worth it if he had some other very redeaming qualities. You could call him to task and really stand up to him. Tell him in no uncertain terms, you don't take orders, he is a guest in your existance, if he wants to continue to enjoy that experience, he will treat you with respect as a free individual. If he declines, then dump his rear end.

"What is more important, a soul mate or composting?"

If he is her soulmate, he will be tolerant and reasonable in regard to the things she loves. I don't think its an either/or scenario.

If you use Tupperware, put the whole thing in the freezer or refrigerator over night or until you are ready to take it out. I take mine out many times per day because I am a wacko and I love to look at my compost and stir it around. But, it was raining or I was sick or something I just freeze them. The sooner they go in the bin, the sooner you start to get compost.

Well hello again!
For some reason I didn't get the e-mail about people answering my post, so I figured no one had. I was wrong!

So...A few details. It is *his* house. He owns it. It was built in 1782, so we are prone to getting ants in the spring. We also live on 10 acres in the woods-ish(and the house is old), so I've been doing battle with the mice. I think I have won that one, but I don't want to jinx it.

My boyfriend isn't a total jerk. I guess forbidden wasn't the best choice of words. It's more of an, if I have respect for his wishes in his home, thing.

The compost is in the backyard right along the edge of the fields. The problem there is that right now our back-slider is plastic'd off for the winter. I'm really not comfortable going out back there at night when I have to go all the way around the house. We have a bobcat that lives back there and I've seen coyotes in our side field while mowing. Call me a scaredy-cat, but it gives me the heeby-jeebies.

What I've been doing lately is just tossing my compost into a plastic bin outside, 20 ft away from the house. I don't think he's even noticed, but my plan is to just empty that every few days (I put all of my plant material in there too) and just see if that works out for us.

This is a man who has stood by me through thick and thin; a messy divorce (going on two years), back surgery (mine), job loss (mine)...He is amazing in every other way...He is great to my daughter...

I wish the compost issue could be easy, but if life's got to get tough somewhere, I'll take hard times on the compost ;-)

Thanks for all of the input :-)

Word choice is key. Congratulations on finding a good guy and you can find a way to accommodate the compost, it may take time and creativity, that is all. I tend to not do the compost at night either because of coyotes or even worse in my mind, snakes!

Well, glad you came back by to straighten us out! I had a feeling that there was no way for us to know the whole story based on one post, and it appears some of us leaped pretty far to conclusions.

Anyhoo, it sounds like you have a workable plan for the moment. It took me a few minutes to figure out what your back-slider was, but I'm guessing that's a sliding door on the back of the house that you put plastic film on to seal for the winter. So you have to go out the front and all the way around before you face the bobcats and coyotes?! Yeah, I wouldn't be out there at night either, unless I carried a pitchfork. :-D

It's easy to jump to conclusions. I'm all for ladies (and gents for that matter) who are in toxic relationships putting themselves first and getting out of the situation. Fortunately that's not the case here ;-)

Yeah, it's pretty spooky out there at night...The only light is coming from the stars cause we don't even have a back light out there (we need to remedy that one)...Bobcats and coyotes and bears, oh my! :eek:

1782! How neat is that!

Yeah, it's a gorgeous house...Full of character...It's been really fun getting the gardens into shape...They were so overgrown with grass that it had turned into pretty much just lawn in the front...It wasn't until I excavated the area double digging that I realized there had been gardens there...I have this gorgeous pink phlox and two peonies that had been there for who knows how long...The poor peonies were just about dead...Soil had just buried them over the years...They haven't bloomed for me yet, but I think this year will be their year!

But the comfrey :shudders: Someone at some point planted comfrey and it is *everywhere*...Not in my gardens anymore, but all over the side yard...What are you going to do, you know?

I'll have to post pics of the house sometime..It really is pretty

I heard comfrey is very compostable. :-D

Have any friends with metal detectors? Who knows what you'd find around a place that old! The town I live in wasn't even founded till 40 years after your house was built.

Not sure if you have room - but a bucket in the freezer is sure to keep the ants at bay.

Or you could get one of those really nice, but expensive, stainless steel compost buckets and keep it out of sight.

If ants are the problem, a good container should suffice to address it.

Here is a link that might be useful: compost pail

You cannot keep compost in the house? No problem. Who would want to, excepting Bokashi and Vermicomposting.

I keep INGREDIENTS FOR COMPOST in my house for future use in the garden. I keep plastic containers in the refrig, the freezer (small downstairs one), and in two Bokashi buckets.

Next time tell him to get the terms right.

Toxcrusader - I was just reading that about comfrey :-) I guess it'll come in handy after all...While I was researching, I found out that you can make a comfrey tea out of the stuff that is a great fertilizer! I'm excited that I didn't eradicate it LOL

Joepye - I'm going to make some room in my freezer...That's a great option.

Tox, your audio forum example is very funny!

In my world, composting is definitely more important than soul mates. I happen to think that there is nothing more important than striving to live a life that is in balance with and respectful of the Earth and all the other species that co-exist here with us. This mandates handling all compostable and biodegradable waste on site and avoiding putting it into the waste stream.

Annikas, hope you and your wonderful man can work out a good composting solution!

I use the freezer method, there are just 2 of us so, there is not much kitchen waste. I keep a bag going in the freezer and add to it. About once a week I take that freezer bag out and dump it in my pile. Then I start a new freezer bag.

Works for me.

Hey gargwarb, good call.