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Wed, Jun 23, 10 at 18:08
| Compost Haiku? Very good! How about compost limericks (OK, keep it clean, evenly balanced and oxygenated, now!)?
The junk that most gardeners waste
To those that ignore things organic,
hortster |
Follow-Up Postings:
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- Posted by borderbarb (My Page) on Wed, Jun 23, 10 at 19:20
| I'm willing ... but rhyme-challenged. Found a 'how to' site and will give it a go. |
Here is a link that might be useful: How to write a limerick
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- Posted by gonebananas 7/8 (My Page) on Wed, Jun 23, 10 at 21:05
| There once was a man from out west Whose compost, 'tis said was the best Effluvia of steer Dregs from making of beer But I'll dare never tell all the rest. |
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| When hardwork calls I roll up my sleeves, I ask my neighbors for all of their leaves, With greens do I fold, What comes out looks like gold, I am more Super than Christopher Reeves. |
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- Posted by borderbarb San Diego county (My Page) on Thu, Jun 24, 10 at 15:02
| There once was a composter from California Who fed her hired hands nothing but trash Not to worry, such trash is microbial goulash They munch away with no trace of acrimonia |
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| There was once was a lass from Maine Who looked upon bread with disdain, She would worry, she would fret But even though not vain She can't get Lloyd to spell it "wacko' yet |
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- Posted by toxcrusadr (My Page) on Thu, Jun 24, 10 at 16:45
| Helpful advice: some of y'all need to look at your limerick structure and rhyming. It's A-A-B-B-A, the B's being shorter lines. Anyhoo: There once was a man from Tibet |
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- Posted by toxcrusadr (My Page) on Thu, Jun 24, 10 at 17:03
| The Dalai Lama, it's said, had a heap Of tea leaves and such, six feet deep All the monks were appalled When he climbed up the wall Said a prayer, and then took a leap. Said the Dalai as he flew toward the midden "You won't be rid of me, I predicate," |
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| I've heard there's a guy in New York who's a master at wielding his fork. He turned his pile ever faster until a compost disaster - exploded by excess of torque. Claire |
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| Anaerobic’s not good so they say, When the neighbor is having his way. When the pile becomes ripe, You must turneth the tripe, Or the City might maketh you pay. hortster |
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- Posted by patchworkfarm 6 CT (My Page) on Thu, Jun 24, 10 at 21:51
| Oh, this is fun. My piles, they all seem to rot |
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- Posted by patchworkfarm (My Page) on Thu, Jun 24, 10 at 22:06
| Success in the garden, its said Begins with your soil being fed But diet is hard When you're doing low-carb, So please just the kelp, hold the bread. |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Thu, Jun 24, 10 at 23:30
| There once was a man from Nantucket Who composted fish in a bucket. He favored crustaceans But clams tried his patience: "If this shell wun't so hahd, I could shuck it!" |
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| its not often that photos of piles are admired for thousands of miles but on this forum, it's the height of decorum and we envy the 'poster his wiles |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Thu, Jun 24, 10 at 23:52
| An Irish lass from New Orleans Had too few browns and too many greens. Her suitor, 'tis said Brought her sawdust in bed — Now a steamy romance is that colleen's! |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Thu, Jun 24, 10 at 23:59
| A fickle young maiden in Kansas Composted iris, petunias, and pansies, Prim forget-me-nots, Sweet peppers in pots, And love letters from old romances! |
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| in NZ theres no earthly reason to not compost in every season if I was to not I'd start losing the plot I'm glad theres no issue with freezin'! |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 0:26
| An earnest Australian named Roy Mixed bokashi with fermented soy, Stirred in mycorrhizae Then said, "Take it easy — My tea will make gardening a joy!" |
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- Posted by toxcrusadr (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 10:44
| Holy cow, you people are funny! I think I like nygardener's the best... ;-] There once was a girl from Darjeeling |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 15:56
| A composter living in Orange
Nuts! |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 17:12
| A baker, 'fore asking this forum, exercising the proper decorum, first searched for a thread on his subject, (gasp!) bread. What he found made him truly abhor 'em. |
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| OK, the thread may be biodegrading a bit here, but... There once was a fellow named Lyle hortster |
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- Posted by patchworkfarm 6 CT (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 19:11
| There's no better place found online Where people dish dirt all the time Where the best kind of scoop Is scoring free poop And folks stir the cr*p to unwind. |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 19:20
| There once was a group of real wackos Who used only chewing tobaccos. So often they'd spit In their composting pit That their pile needed turning with backhoes! |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 19:25
| For one group of folks on the Web, Compost flowed, but it never did ebb. So very mature Were their piles of manure That they steamed from May straight through to Feb! |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner CA 9/10 (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 19:46
| Mr. Green showed his wife his new bin. Too excited, they both stumbled in. A neighbor heard screams, shouted "I’ll help the Greens," added browns, and in a year tilled them in. |
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- Posted by randy_coyote 7 (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 19:55
| Leaves, grass, cardboard, or old roast, Straw, or paper (but not toast). I'm mad as a hatter, For organic matter To rot. It all leads back to compost. |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 20:23
| A composting deacon from Orange For his bin swiped the church's brass door hinge. When he swung the bin open To toss the old Pope in He exclaimed, "Sohn, that's my hinge, not your hinge!" |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Fri, Jun 25, 10 at 20:30
| Instead of tending his loams, One gardener sat writing poems. He forgot his plants' needs — Let them all grow to weeds — To send doggerel to GardenWeb Fo'ums! And on that note, I'm off to tend my beds before dark. Happy summer, everyone! |
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| I must thank luckygal and sylviatexas for the "Haiku" thread, which was the inspiration for this one. Of all the threads that I have entered, this has been the most fun and laughs. Ya'll are intelligent and creative! Have fun! hortster |
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- Posted by patchworkfarm 6 CT (My Page) on Sat, Jun 26, 10 at 7:02
| Have you hugged your compost today? Have you kept the planaria at bay? If you've heeded the post About composting toast Then you, forum member, may stay. |
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- Posted by mister_potato_head VT 5a (My Page) on Sat, Jun 26, 10 at 8:04
| There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose compost tis said brought good lucket. Good gardeners found need, as they planted their seed, to use the rich mix by the bucket. |
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| Just one more... It's winter: the worst ever, i bet For a month i've not seen the sun set While rain drips through the ceiling I find myself kneeling Outside, concerned that my compost's too wet |
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| There once was a man from Nantucket who liked to Compost in Buckets His wife said he was mean When he declared her dog was a green but now it turns out,he's a prophet ;-) |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Sat, Jun 26, 10 at 14:23
| An addled backpacker named Dave Tried to compost two bears in a cave. His last words: "But you're browns!" (Here your narrator frowns) Not a wise man, but certainly brave. |
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| There once was a farmer from Man. Who went to the town with a plan, "Send me your yard waste, I'll treat it in all haste" Now he wishes he had some more land!
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| If composting things that disgust you, Leads neighbors and friends to distrust you, By every means, Explain browns and greens, Or the town may rally and bust you. |
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| There once was a transplant to 'Bama When arrested, explained with a stammah "Surely those who steal leaves Are no ordinary thieves" But they still threw her into the slammah. |
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- Posted by toxcrusadr (My Page) on Tue, Jun 29, 10 at 16:22
| Emmett Brown, the time travel professor Built a composter a lot less messier the Flux Capacitor thing Brought his pile back from next spring and made cold compost in a minute or lesser! |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner CA 9/10 (My Page) on Tue, Jun 29, 10 at 17:53
| We recovering composters say we're done mixing leaves, grass, and hay. Friends take it in stride when flashbacks arrive-- "Hey, don't throw that away!" |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner Ca 9/10 (My Page) on Tue, Jun 29, 10 at 18:00
| At Starbucks two composters fought over coffee grounds fresh from the pot. After punches and shouts they both were kicked out. Now how will their piles get hot? |
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| Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden didn't need compost and didn't need weedin'. Along came the Snake and sold them a rake. Cast out, they have to do all God's seedin'. Claire |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner CA 9/10 (My Page) on Wed, Jun 30, 10 at 18:00
| A wacko broke into the zoo looking for exotic poo. Preferring well-aged from animals caged, he finally gave up and took gnu. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Wed, Jun 30, 10 at 19:21
| Impatient new composters pay for tumblers and such on ebay. After turning and yearning, they're finally learning that loam wasn't built in a day. (with a nod to byron) |
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| There once was a 'poster named Lloyd, who often made people annoyed. But he still comes around like an unwanted hound, and some say he's one to a-void. ;-) Lloyd |
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| Although this thread's getting stale, The compost check's in the mail. Although it's ripe presently, I can say most unhesitantly It will be quite sweet without fail. |
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| I struggled the haiku to learn, then the limerick came in its turn. What's in line next? A hundred pages of text? My brain is starting to burn. Claire |
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| To claire: This thread has gone down the road. PS: I sure ain't gonna start it! Brain has become flatulent. Fingers are tired. Compost is topmost! |
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- Posted by toxcrusadr (My Page) on Fri, Jul 2, 10 at 10:48
| Here’s one for Independence Day. In the course of garden events |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 2, 10 at 22:16
| A greedy son, first by his birth asked his dad what his compost was worth. Dad replied "not so fast, or you'll wind up last. For the meek shall inherit the earth!" |
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- Posted by borderbarb (My Page) on Sun, Jul 4, 10 at 12:52
| There once was an ancient composter Whose compost was oh so cold, sir But her heart it is warm For her earthweb swarm Turn or not, stir or no stir |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Thu, Jul 8, 10 at 4:05
| Here is more information about compost limerick's. |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Thu, Jul 8, 10 at 4:28
| Speakin' of gardenin' fo'ums ... |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Mon, Jul 12, 10 at 12:01
| A naive young gardener named Cora thought this site would improve all her flora. Instead of composting tips she found poems and quips. Now she spends her time on other fora. |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Tue, Jul 13, 10 at 15:27
| Young Cora is not so naive As her worried elders might believe. When she mouses and clicks On "Compost Limericks" It's poems that she wants to retrieve. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Wed, Jul 14, 10 at 0:02
| Though she might appreciate rhymes, Cora's true goal was more browns to find. After poems were read, she'd print them and shred, and balanced her pile in no time. |
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| (schreber_gaertner!!! Look how clever you are!) |
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| T'was diligent composter Ted Assiduously feeding the bread To planaria species Amongst the horse feces mixed with paper so carefully shred |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 16, 10 at 13:18
| Noncomposters might think it absurd that the color line's so often blurred. Both yellow ureen and brown coffee grounds green? It matters not to the blind microherd. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 16, 10 at 16:19
| We wackos have a feel for the land that sane folks just don't understand: like collecting filth for improving tilth, or the warmth of the pile on your hand. Sorry to keep adding to this pile. I hope I run out eventually! |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Fri, Jul 16, 10 at 16:50
| OK, two of my worst, which I've managed to restrain myself from posting until now: A farmer who lived in Dubuque The chef of a Baltimore resto |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 16, 10 at 17:01
| Love it, NY! I think I've gone off the deep end, help!!! The soil scientists tend to play |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 16, 10 at 17:13
| A group of bored composters took too long with poems 'til one said "look, we must not abandon the earth that we plant in, or we'll just end up writing a book." |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Fri, Jul 16, 10 at 20:17
| With apologies to Ogden Nash: Poet, |
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| The hortster, who started this thread, Is beginning to wish he was dead! Although these've been clever, It's to pulleth the lever And back to Haiku, instead! |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Sat, Jul 17, 10 at 6:22
| An old lawyer of some renown worked with compost to keep his stress level down. When he ran out of leafs, he shredded his briefs. (He found them the best source for brown.) |
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| It cracks me that the OP (Hortster) would even imply that us innocent little O'le composters would even think of a naughty limerick. there once was a girl from reno James |
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| Ah, hortster, my limerick loving friend, you can't just will a good thread to an end. It takes on a life of its own; this is the seed you have sown, and you can only hope that none will offend. Claire |
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| A whacko across the Atlantic Was getting increasingly frantic A limerick’s a doddle It should rhyme like this model Signed Flora, amused and pedantic |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Tue, Jul 20, 10 at 16:44
| Oh Flora UK, please don't cry, ma'am. No one's more pedantic than I am. When it comes to poems about compost and loams, I prefer anapests over iambs. |
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| Hi schreber, your name makes me curious Are you German or is that just spurious? Umlauts don’t work on line But AE will do fine By the way, I am not really furious. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Tue, Jul 20, 10 at 17:49
| No, German's not my mother tongue, though I learned it while still rather young. Umlauts work fine, even on line, büt switching the keyböärd's nö fün. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Wed, Jul 21, 10 at 13:22
| The fault's largely mine, it is true. But I'm cursed and don't know what to do. I truly can't wait for that glorious date when this link finally drops to page 2. |
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- Posted by toxcrusadr (My Page) on Wed, Jul 21, 10 at 15:20
| When does it end? You are curious? This thread that's by no means penurious Why, when browns become green The stars no longer seen And the Cubs finally win the World Serious |
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| There is a fine lady in Maine Erudite, funny and sane Loves her hens and her dog But she cannot stand sog Such as b***d that’s left out in the rain. (But where is she when we're having so much fun?) |
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| Toxcrusader, hasn’t cost me a thing To my gardenweb moniker hang My love for the Cubbies Ain’t as much as the rubbish That my compost piles forth bring. [PS: had to look up "penurious"! You must be a sesquipedalian?] |
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- Posted by toxcrusadr (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 11:36
| An erudite gardening Canadian With long words would typically weigh in With decomposition, aerobic And exchange capacity, humic A composting sesquipedalian! Except that I’m not at all from Canada, it just rhymed. ;-] |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 12:28
| This long thread was started by hortster, A fair gentle bulletin boardster. If only he knew The foul witches' brew That gardeners bored out of their gourd stir! |
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| A thread maxes out at one fifty, to get there would be cool and nifty. We'd have little trouble to make it go double, so for now we'll just have to be thrifty. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 15:53
| A gardener known for austerity, in his will showed surprising temerity. He bequeathed no cash, but wanted his ash composted for all of posterity. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 16:03
| His shocked heirs then met with the lawyer, convinced one of them was the spoiler. They id'd the cheat by the dirt on her feet, and, incensed, hatched a vile plan to foil her. |
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| I expected to learn about worms, and the Soil Food Web and its germs, But never did I dream and sometimes want to scream, I'd be googling poetical terms. Claire |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner SoCal 9/10 (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 16:57
| The group set a trap for their sister with something she couldn’t resist. Her weakness they knew was straw mixed with poo. As a lure it would no doubt enlist her. On the day that dad's ashes were dumped She survived, though, to their great dismay, Her pumpkin now grew with dad’s care. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 17:07
| Wasting hours on poems this week, I offered my family a peek. They quickly detected what they'd always suspected. Dad's an embarrassing composting geek. |
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| Oh Schreber, I am a great klutz! It’s astonishing how the mind shuts Itself down when on email. I assumed you were female, But now I discover you’ve got nuts! (Not to mention a vivid imagination) |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner Cal 9/10 (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 17:39
| Oh, Flora, your post made me grin. Your error of course is no sin. You may not have known, with no Y chromosome, my name would've been "Gaertnerin." |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 18:01
| As a group, compost wackos are witty. When they're not wasting time on a ditty, they're out in the yard with their forks working hard, making sure that their pile's good and-- |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 18:15
| A visitor here came to see information on composting pee. We told him "don't worry or be in a hurry. Don't forget IALBTC." (Man, I've got to get back to work!) |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Thu, Jul 22, 10 at 20:11
| I've got to give poems a rest. I'll try to abstain as a test. ... ... Nope, it's now clear I'm obsessed. |
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| Now, now, you must call it a day, time to work and forget about play. If you don't it is true they'll be coming for you, they're coming to take you away. Claire |
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| It’s obvious that I must have slipped; To new lows this thread has now dipped. Schreber has lost it - Claire and Flora have tossed it To a deepening aerobic crypt. |
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- Posted by patchworkfarm 6 CT (My Page) on Fri, Jul 23, 10 at 11:07
| My husband declares it a crime I now spend my gardening time On my hands and knees Weeding the peas Talking to myself in rhyme |
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| Hortster, you’re right, it’s ill bred To lower the tone of a thread But I’m over the sea Where you cannot catch me So I write what comes into my head. Schreber, I just failed to spot |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 23, 10 at 12:41
| Es tut mir sehr leid, liebe Flora. Ich muß einfach sagen, "keine Sorge". Ob Bub' oder "gal" ist mir scheißegal. Im Netz kann ich ein Geschlecht borge' |
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| Now I am totally floored, I can only gasp and applaud. Who could compete With your Teutonic feat? And my compost is getting ignored. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 23, 10 at 15:58
| So long on these poems did I spend, that it caused my coworkers to send my boss (who's a jerk) to say "get back to work!" I'll comply--on his checks I depend. |
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| What? You’re writing all these at your work place? You should be ashamed with a red face. I write every 'pome' On my keyboard at home And I fear I can’t keep up the pace. |
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| You both are obsessive-compulsive! This thread’s far, far from repulsive. I've nipped at your heels, To lessen the squeals, But my laughter’s become quite convulsive! |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 23, 10 at 19:54
| Compared to browns greens or rhymed words, my day job seems almost absurd. It's true I'm distracted and my work is impacted, when I'd rather be shoveling turds. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 23, 10 at 20:12
| Two chefs who composted once argued over which animal they barbecued. The taste of the flesh mattered much less than the quality of what would be poo'd. |
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| The web will be glad when we’re done Having strange/crazy limerick fun. But it isn’t so crazy Thinking of micorhizzae When our poems tout organic puns. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Jul 23, 10 at 20:24
| A gardener who grew marijuano perfected a mixture of guano that perked up his crops and attracted the cops. I'd try it, except I don't wanno. |
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| pt03 says the max is 150! Ain't seen it but sounds rather iffy. Why not re-expound And "boor" those around Until this thread's quite dead and stiffy? |
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| I worry about this new vice Sending off rhymes not quite nice I’ve developed bad habits Limericks breed like rabbits When should I put them on ice? |
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| Schreber, and all you other compost poets - just a quick goodbye for a while. School is now out for some time Enjoy the rest of the summer, Flora.
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Thu, Aug 5, 10 at 22:19
| (OK, the dry spell is over) "Never use seedy greens without heating" (Can you guess what I was doing when this inspiration hit?) |
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| Laundry? ;-) |
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| So the thread had slipped off of the page, and we thought it was the end the Age. But schreber couldn't resist a new limerick to list, Now it's entering a scary new stage. Claire |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Fri, Aug 6, 10 at 17:11
| There once was an Internet forum That observed the most lovely decorum. Then a limerick thread started, The members departed, And soon there was barely a quorum. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Aug 6, 10 at 18:13
| I'd learned compost helps with fertility and enhances one's gard'ning ability. But when friends saw what I grew and the limericks, too, they started to doubt my virility. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Sat, Aug 7, 10 at 11:22
| I can't blame my friends who demean me. A male gardening poet's unseemly. But they'll soon shut their mouths, and abandon all doubts, when they see my enormous zucchini. |
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- Posted by borderbarb (My Page) on Sat, Aug 7, 10 at 13:43
| My Momma done tole me To avoid jokes about fertility But she was neither gardener nor 'poster So I'll just ignore her BTW, best bury huge zukes in 'post debris /// |
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| There once was A man named fred. who composted his wife that was dead when the cops beat the door he will compost no more they through him in jail in stead. I compost in bins lined in 3 there once was a composter named Lloyd (Me) yard deco, good stuff! |
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| Every time this thread dies down to dusto And the keyboards are starting to rusto, There comes a composter that Pulls back this dead ghoster Then stirs the pile up with more gusto. Thirty-seven’s a number quite prime |
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| 36 is the number so fair web masters love rhyme! (Oh contraire) we will go back to are bins with big wide grins for neglected compost!(beware). James |
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| I think this will be thirty-five that's keeping these limericks alive. When we reach the countdown we can all go to town as busy as bees in a hive. Claire |
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- Posted by borderbarb (My Page) on Tue, Aug 10, 10 at 19:09
| Hamlet [Act 111, Scene IV] And do not spread the compost on the weeds, To make them ranker. Heed Shakespear's sage advice |
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| spreading some compost on your weeds could double your greens ror your compost needs some say why have weeds to the sky for it is best on your vegetable seeds the city is just 1 block away from yard deco I do erect PS if you build your tomato sopports strong enough James |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Fri, Aug 13, 10 at 18:24
| Oh, where is our Flora U.K.? Seems like ages since she went away. Can she care for her piles from across many miles? Or, ignored, will they fail to decay? |
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- Posted by gardenfanatic MO zone5b (My Page) on Sat, Aug 14, 10 at 1:25
| You folks are very clever! I've been laughing so hard, I have tears running down my face! Sorry, no limerick. I'm not that talented- Deanna |
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- Posted by burra_maluca (My Page) on Sat, Aug 14, 10 at 12:23
| This bloody limerick thread just won't get out of my head! I tried to ignore it but there's nothing for it but to write one. Or so it is said. There, I wrote one! But is one enough? So now please can I have some respite?
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| Schreber, it’s lovely to hear That you're wondering when I'll appear Again on this thread But as already said I’ve had two weeks of hols. Is that clear? As it happens I’m back for one day I quickly went down there today. |
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| My compost pile is on a field of clay, A field I’d swap any good day. Everything I dump is organic matter But it looks as if it’s all a tatter. Hope springs eternal someday it’ll pay. If I turn and turn will it heat up? Someone led me to this link, |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Mon, Aug 23, 10 at 15:58
| Seems composting work's never done, and poetry's getting ho-hum. So I got off my rump, gave this thread a bump. Now it's where it belongs--on page 1. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner SoCal 9/10 (feels li (My Page) on Mon, Aug 23, 10 at 16:09
| My wife begged so long for a horse, that I thought it would lead to divorce. But I swallowed my pride, so she gets to ride. (And I get the manure, of course!) |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Mon, Aug 23, 10 at 16:20
| I should have known better than to compromise and drop my guard, too. My wife was "so sure" I still wanted manure that our horsey count now stands at two. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Mon, Aug 23, 10 at 17:02
| 2 ponies is great for green hoarders. But today we got 2 more as boarders! The size of my piles can be seen now for miles. (And the smell is attracting reporters.) |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Tue, Aug 31, 10 at 16:30
| Kitchen scraps, sawdust, and straw, vegetables, both cooked and raw, fish tails and heads, and (shhh!) even breads, go into my bin's gaping maw. My bin is by no measure picky. |
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| Oh no, Schreber's at it again! Why can't he just stay with his bin? Instead of wasting our time showing off with his rhymes. If we're lucky, the worms'll do him in! |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Tue, Aug 31, 10 at 16:59
| I have a confession to make. The name "don b" was a fake. I discovered that old one from way back in '01. Now everyone knows I'm a flake. |
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| Today in the gardens I have seen a toad and my trusty garter snake....hope it moves down to the sweetpotato row. Anyway I am reminded of my very first written poem. It was an assignment in 2nd grade and I still remember it: I saw a toad |
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| There's a hurricane coming named Earl, that may give my compost a twirl. Category 4, 2 or 3, or a near miss it could be. A PITA is H. Earl! Claire |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Sun, Nov 14, 10 at 18:20
| All the garden beds now are turned under In the distance are rumbles of thunder. The wind, icy and keen, Will freeze both brown and green And scatter the leaves that we plunder! |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner CA 9/10 (My Page) on Mon, Nov 15, 10 at 16:43
| In SoCal we compost year-round. The effect on the garden's profound. But a nice winter break from the fork and the rake would be good--and my back could rebound. |
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| It's not too cold yet on the coast, and I've only got half-done compost, But wintry winds are ahead and I must soon start to spread or all of my plants will be toast! Claire |
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| Like a wraith from the ranks of undead It raises its mouldering head In gloomy November Composters remember That unkillable limerick thread |
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| There once was a lady named Gay In her compost she always did lay When the sun would shine And a tall glass of wine She would dream of scoring more hay There once was a man named ted |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Thu, Nov 18, 10 at 13:40
| An aspiring young Princess named Kate Dug a garden that hadn't a Gate. To banish her Fauna, She sowed belladonna. Now her Flora are truly first-rate. |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner CA 9/10 (My Page) on Thu, Nov 18, 10 at 14:23
| The brutal SoCal winter's nifty. Our winter wardrobe can be thrifty. No shorts and no tan for those two weeks in Jan. when the temp. (brrr!) gets down close to fifty. |
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| NY, I can't rhyme the word 'fauna' With a word that for me goes like 'corner' Over here 'belladonna' Sounds like the name 'Connor' It's all down to where you were born - ah. (Clever type faces - how do you do that?) |
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| As the season of autumn now passes, Our piles just get leaves and no grasses. So, away from the bin The rhymes must begin. (We ‘posters get bored on our azzez.) |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Thu, Nov 18, 10 at 17:30
| Stocked her pond with piranha? |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Fri, Nov 19, 10 at 12:12
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner SoCal 9/10 (My Page) on Tue, Nov 23, 10 at 14:12
| Thanksgiving Day is upon us and we composters get a huge bonus. When the feasting is done it's just as much fun watching leftovers turn into humus. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Sun, Dec 12, 10 at 10:24
| Notwithstanding his fondness for fonts, NYG toned them down for the nonce. "Although my lilacs Look great in italics, Ariel does quite well for my plants." Up north, where the weather is cold, |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Wed, Jan 26, 11 at 23:05
| One fine day in May (or was it June?), A composter struck up a tune. "Such fine tidbits I'll Toss in my pile That my plants will grow over the moon!" |
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- Posted by nygardener z6 New York (My Page) on Wed, Sep 21, 11 at 15:39
| There once was a GardenWeb thread Given up by its members for dead. But as summertime waned, And the brooding skies rained, It woke up and again reared its head! |
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| Oh no! cried the Garden Web horde; nygardener must surely be bored. Whoever manages to end this frightening new trend, will earn a stupendous reward. Claire |
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- Posted by toxcrusadr (My Page) on Thu, Sep 22, 11 at 13:08
| Let us end this charade pretty puhleez To wit I've shipped bones and grease From a certain NY address To the Compost Police, a mess They'll have it shut down, desisted and ceased |
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- Posted by schreber_gaertner (My Page) on Thu, Sep 22, 11 at 16:13
| nyg's poetic juices are flowing (I gather his corn has stopped growing). But in Zones 9 and 10, work's about to begin. Our winter crops we must start sowing. |
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| Truly, a great monster was created. 'Tis my hope that these limericks be abated. Nygardener has twitched From an unstoppable itch That apparently can't be sated. |
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