I think it's that guy hiding behind the tree and snickering.

He has a bad attitude.

Gadzooks! What a crater "IT" left...perhaps it came from "out there" and crash landed into your garden. Perhaps from the planet Planarium? I think I'm going to be sick! Good Luck and don't touch it!

A desperate, lonely cry for ......Help.

Will it be answered?

Did you perhaps hear a large crow singing "Five dollar foot loooooongs!"?

People on Canadian jets chuck their buns out the window all the time. It's pretty much all the airlines serve anymore, and they're hard as a rock. Unless you're on one of the old prop planes and then you get peanuts.

I see you're in northern NJ, so - very likely.

In my experience, SOs and children always profess innocence.

and now, the "items" have completely vanished: not a trace of sog remains.

Did you catch the miscreant? Was it the guy hiding behind the tree and giggling? Where's my potato?

You laugh, but if I were being held captive by giant, extra-terrestrial planeria-like creatures with huge bug eyes that, like, were always staring at me? And I wanted help? Well, I'd try the bread ploy.

I think I know where that bread came from...

It mysteriously showed up on my kitchen table last week. I notice a huge bag with dozens of hoagie rolls, another bag of croissants and a loaf of bread laid on the table. I assumed my husband had brought them home for the pile... there is no way the two of use can eat that much bread.

But later that evening, hubs asked me, "where did all that bread come from?"

"I don't know, I thought you brought it?"

We were appalled that someone had broken into (or more like walked through the unlocked door) and left us a huge amount of bread.

We inspected the bread, it appeared to be dry with a bit of mold starting on it. So I dumped it into the pile

The next morning, it was apparent some critters had raided the pile through the night. They had taken off with several of the hoagie rolls and stripped the crust off the loaf bread. They scattered some shredded paper into the yard too, darn critters.

A few days later, my SIL admitting to dropping the bread off for our pile, it was a nice gesture.

So those hoagie rolls came from my SIL, through my pile, courtesy of some critter (raccoon or possum would be my guess).

Of course I looked.
And now I'm sick.

Emily, it was truly kind of you to try to warn me off, but what about all the other people here? Surely I'm not the only person here with refined sensibilities? Some of those people should have been warned, too. The reason I kept reading, was because I was certain that you, Emily, my new best friend, were just pretending to be talking about sogg...., no I'm gagging, I can't say it...bread that has been violated by moisture.

Not for one second was I prepared for a betrayal. I thought it was some sort of June Fools Joke and at the last, horrifying minute you were going to say, "Look! I found some eggshell dust in my garden. Does anyone know a good way to further pulverize it? (Ha. Ha.)" And I was going to laugh and say, I put my eggshells in sacks and duct tape them to my tires. Every time I get my tires rotated I remove the sacks and find the eggshells compost pile ready.

But no. Bread. Two pieces. All wet. And---not that it matters a whit---but touched by yellow rodent teeth.

No, annpat, stop. Don't relive it. teequilt and dave52 are dead on. You've got bigger problems than a lying spouse now, my friend. You've probably got yourself some alien planaria. And the native kind are bad enough.

emmers, did the potato disappear also?

Isn't NJ the site of the original "War of the Worlds" story that started panic and mayhem throughout New Jersey when HG Wells read in on the radio?

Is there a full moon? The potato did look like it had little bitty white skinny legs by which it possibly ran for help!

On second thought, it kind of looked like a little Hindenberg...hhhmmmm...another mysterious NJ flying object site, correct? Lindenhurst, site of the infamous blimp explosion.

RESOLUTION: Never fly to NJ with potatoes and/or soggy bread! snark!