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A Cat's Diary - (this is funny!)

Posted by carrie630 z7bNC (My Page) on
Mon, Feb 19, 07 at 16:08


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,while the other
inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
Nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that
keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I
once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
Placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
Hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
To the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use
it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to
Be more than willing to return. He is obviously distressed! The bird has
got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged
Protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....
Carrie


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: A Cat's Diary - (this is funny!)

There's a dog's diary that goes along with this entry. These are oldies but goodies.


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RE: A Cat's Diary - (this is funny!)

Carrie, that is soooooo funny, I laughed till I had tears in my eyes.......
Wendey


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RE: A Cat's Diary - (this is funny!)

Found the dog's diary:

Excerpts from a dog's diary:

Day 180

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!

1:30 pm - OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!


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