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It never fails...

Posted by northerner_on Z5A ONCanada (My Page) on
Sat, Sep 12, 09 at 2:18

About 3 years ago a gardening friend sent me three rooted Brugmansias. One died during the first winter, the second died over this last winter, and I put the remaining one out this year, determined not to bring it again since I never got any blooms. Just last week I decided I would put it up for 'taking' on the exchange site and I went out today to see BUDS!! Yes,several buds on the upper branches. I hope we have enough warm weather to bring them to bloom. Now I think I must keep it.

I am again greiving - lost a very dear friend to lung cancer last Saturday. Her funeral will be held tomorrow. We were friends since high school, so it's close to home. She was diagnosed in Nov. 2006, but was able to have a wonderful life after her diagnosis. She was treated in Florida with a new drug and it kept the cancer at bay, shrunk it, and she did lots of travelling, spent time with her children and grands., and friends. All of this time, she had no feeling of sickness and was full of energy and fun as she always was. The feelings of breathlessness, fatigue, returned only two weeks ago, and when it was found that the cancer had returned, she refused chemo. and passed peacefully without pain at home. May she rest in peace.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: It never fails...

So sorry to learn of the loss of your friend and am glad that she was able to be so active until recently. Hugs to you.

My friend/next door neighbor died from lung cancer some years ago. I miss Bobbi and our daily walks through each others gardens.

Brugmansias are new to me this year. One has bloomed a few blooms several times and is now full of blossoms, guess that's called a flush. One has its first blossoms, and one has its second blossom. I will take cuttings and try to root them just in case they don't survive the winter.


RE: It never fails...

It's so hard to say goodbye to those we love - it seems, at first, as if a little light goes out. And in a way, it does. The things you hold dear about her, though, will bring you comfort, and come to you at surprising times. And somewhere else, you will see another, and another, little light go on.

I hope you have close friends you can lean on, today, northerner - you have my sympathy.

RE: It never fails...

Tears in my eyes as I read this...I'm sorry that you lost such a good friend, happy for her that she lived life the way she wanted to, with joy, after her diagnoses.
I sure learn a lot from the people around me who pass away. It really makes me think of how it is that I do and do not want to deal with my own death, whenever that happens.

I pray that you have all the support and love among you and the rest of her loved ones during her absence. It sounds like she left a lot of good things to remember her with.

Love and Hugs,

RE: It never fails...

Hi Northerner on,
I'm so very sorry about the loss of your dear friend.
Do you know there is a gieving forum? I do. It's under "that home site" I wish I didn't.
best wishes always

RE: It never fails...

Bobbie, Drippy, Linda, and Laura, thanks so much for your kind words. Your support is very comforting, as I am away from most of my family at this time, so Linda, your hugs are much appreciated. A few close friends have been very helpful, calling to see that I am O.K. and giving me the opportunity to 'talk things out'. I was very surprised at my reaction - I guess it was because her death was so sudden and unexpected. Over the week, I have suffered stomach upsets, sleeplessness, and even some periods of anxiety, and just could not get Annie out of my mind. We attended an anniversary party on Sat. night and it helped to keep my mind off it, and my stomach was uneasy only for a while this morning. I was very comforted by a lovely e-mail from Annie's sister. I sent her a verse of comfort and she modified it and read it after the eulogy - that was so special to me. Now I find myself remembering only the happy times - reading her e-mails which I have kept, and reviewing lots of photos. of her recent travels and vacations. I am thankful that I knew her, and happy that she had a well-lived life. We all would have liked it to be longer, but she is now at peace. Thank you all so much.

RE: It never fails...

Dear R.,
I am so sorry for your loss. It's painful and leaves you with a numb feeling. At least that is what is happening to me. Sometimes I don't know how to react as my brother is living his last year. He just had a brain tumour removed successfully in August, and then they discovered he has cancer. It's inoperable and the chemo he is receiving is only to buy a bit more time with his teenage children and wonderful wife.

It sure does hurt... I know it's good to think about the great times and such, but it still hurts. I often think it's just not fair...

RE: It never fails...

Roslyn, Tiffy - no, there isn't any fairness to it - except that I think at some point we begin to accept that part of living fully includes great losses. That doesn't make them any easier, though. And I know, at least for me, that every new loss connects us with former ones. I am finding, as I age, more presence, and less of a sense of linear time. Defense mechanism? Maybe, or maybe "the peace that passes all understanding".

Tiffy, I am thinking of you - my brother died at the beginning of this year. Unlike my Dad, who lived and died well, my dear brother left a lot of unfinished business, which the rest of my family has been coming to terms with. I hope that you and your brother and his family are able to cherish his time now - my heart is with you.

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