I think talking to the doctor before your father (who must already be under increased stress) is a wise choice. The drug therapies for elderly dementia patients can be so individualized, the doctor may have reason for prescribing this drug given her particular history - you'll know once you've asked.

All I can add is that my good friend took her mother-in-law into their home for the last 5 years of her life with dementia, very rough on the household (and mother) for the first few months with episodes of paranoia, anxiety and aggitation....which couldn't be attributed to strange surroundings, she moved from next door back into the larger family home where she had raised the son who was now 'raising' her. The neurologist prescribed Aricept and shortly after she was sleeping more hours than anyone would like to have seen, but sweet and peaceful the hours she was awake. That continued to the time of her death 4 1/2 yrs later at age 90, at home and quietly.

Hope you have had a chance to talk with the doc... While rispirdal and other atypical antipsychotics increase the risk of sudden death and are off label for agitation in dementia, sometimes they are the only things that will help keep people at home safely. Other meds include depakote (an antiseizure medication), and the aricept and/ or namenda. with the aricept and namenda there are variable responses - ranging from the peacefullness of morz8's experience to no particular change.

Hope this helps, and know that in dementia (like childhood) this stage will eventually pass.
Shelly J (nursing home and hospice doc in wisconsin)

There are many alternatives to this drug that can be given and someone(not your 90 year old father) should speak to the doctor about this. A bigger concern is that a 90 year old is caring for someone with dementia. You should immediately find your father assistance in caring for his wife. Home Health Care agencies which are paid for by medicare can come in multiple times a week to assist and alleviate your father's burden. They will also send in someone to do cooking,laundry and cleaning. Find a REPUTABLE agency and have her doctor make the referral.